Most pornography aficionados agree that the “Young and Anal” series didn’t really hit its stride until “Young and Anal 15” was released in 1999, which is where today’s scene comes from.

We open on the legendary Buck Adams dressed as a cowboy, strolling into an empty saloon that’s actually fairly decent production quality for a porno.

He hollers a couple times and wonders aloud where everyone is, until Anne Howe rolls in and asks if she help him. Buck asks where the barkeep is, and Anne explains that he was “wounded in a gunfight earlier” and is at “Doc’s”. Buck asks if she isn’t a little young to be a dance hall girl, which is a weird question given what’s going to happen later, but Anne explains that her daddy’s farm isn’t doing well and she has to bring in money somehow. Now, you’d think with a setup like this, him paying her money to bang is going to feature very heavily into the plot, but you’d be wrong, Chekov’s gun is barely mentioned again.

Buck asks if she knows how lonely it gets out on the trail. She doesn’t. He then gets down to business: how old is she? Anne says 18. Buck’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. Or, it would if he was capable of acting. Anne further explains that she’s never been with a man before which would be slightly more convincing if I didn’t know this was the 20th adult film she’d starred in – in 1999 alone.

Buck pulls out a chair and has her sit down to explain something. “You’ve heard that old saying, haven’t you?” he explains.

Buck: “You put a woman in a chair and if her feet hit the floor, she’s old enough. If not, you just cut the legs off the chair.”

Jesus fucking Christ. No, I haven’t. Neither has Anne, apparently, but she finds this a lot more amusing than I do.

Anyway, Buck has her bend over and look at a scratch in the table and then uses it as an excuse to hump her from behind and pull her hair. He asks if she’s seen a gun before as he takes off his belt and holster, but clarifies “I’m not talking about these kinds of guns.” In fact, he’s talking about his penis!

Anne explains that she’s seen her little brother’s before at the swimming hole, which for fuck’s sake, stop talking about little boys in the middle of a fucking porno. Buck has her get on her knees and tells her to touch his penis. Anne, doing her best to look baffled, sort’ve waps at it with her open palm, but he explains in painstaking detail how to grasp a penis (“like reins”) and has her guide it into her mouth and go back and forth (“like licking candy”). He doesn’t clarify that she shouldn’t get bored with licking and try to take a bite, which is a critical step conspicuously missing from most “treat a penis like a lollipop” instructional pornos.  

Anyway, they inter-cut inane dialogue over her polishing his knob and him munching rug and finger-blasting her. At first she says it hurts because she’s a virgin, but after Buck says he’s going to pay her she clarifies that it doesn’t hurt *too* bad. Eventually he gets around to sticking his penis in her. “No! No! It hurts!” she shouts, but he doesn’t stop and she pretty much immediately gets into it. 

Porn. Teaching terrible, terrible ideas about consent since…forever. 

Eventually, we get the greatest lines of dialogue that have probably ever been uttered in a porn movie:

Anne: “What are you going to do to me now, mister?”
Buck: “I want you to lay back down on this table, stick your legs in the air, and I’m going to stick this up your ass.”
Anne: “But I poop from there!”
Buck: “Not right now, you don’t.”

Fucking legendary. 

But also, if I’m lubed up and about to watch an anal scene, literally the last thing that I want to be reminded is of the fact that poop comes from there. What the hell? 

Anyway, he fucks her ass, blows his load on her face, roll credits. 

Overall, I’d put this at 11/10 on the Creep-O-Meter. It’s one higher.