Back To The Future

I’ve grown increasingly weary of incest in porn, which is so prevalent that I made it one of the 10 Commandments of Pornography. Admittedly, it’s number 10 on the list, but it’s so tired, so boring, and so ubiquitous that if I never see another incest or fauxcest plot again I can probably die happy. 

That being said, if you have to do it, at least make it in some topical parody of a film where incest, for reasons, is already a running subplot. Game of Thrones, Star Wars, maybe a little Arrested Development, and, of course, the granddaddy of them all, Back to the Future, where the screenwriters had the wisdom and foresight to combine incest with time travel and really push a lot of buttons in the fertile developing minds of Generation X. 

We open on a title card, which I appreciate:

Really love the creative title there, guys. I get that there’s clearly an incentive to give your flicks a straightforward title to prepare your audience for exactly what they’re in for, but how about “Come On My Mom’s Back…In The Future”? 

We open on Codey Steele (repeat offender) lying in bed, and Andi Rose comes over to dab a completely dry cloth against his forehead. She tells him he’s been asleep for over nine hours. 

Codey: “I had a horrible nightmare…I traveled back through time…terrible.”
Andi: “Well, you’re safe and sound now, back in good old 1955.”

Codey shoots upright as Andy snaps on the light. She introduces herself as Lorraine. I love how you can tell how it’s 1955, because everything looks like it’s from 2022. 

Andi tells him to relax, because he’s got a “big bruise” on his head, and, um:

No. Guys. Make an effort. Or make a joke! ‘You’ve got a big bruise on your forehead…well, you did, looks like it healed pretty fast’. Hang a lampshade on it!

Codey starts to get out of bed, then freaks out because he’s in his underwear. 

Codey: “Where are my pants?”
Andi: “Over there. On my hope chest. I’ve never seen purple underwear before, Calvin.”
Codey: “Calvin – why do you keep calling me Calvin?”
Andi: “Well that’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein? It’s written all over your underwear.”

Spoiler alert for a few minutes from now: we will get a very good look at Codey’s underwear, and he is not wearing Calvin Klein underwear.  

Codey introduces himself as Marty and Andi tries to touch his not-bruised forehead while commenting about how totally bruised he is. Codey freaks out and does a header off the bed, making a loud noise. A male voice calls from downstairs. Andi tells him to be quiet, throws his jeans at him, and says her parents are leaving soon and to come downstairs when they’re gone. 

We rejoin our characters downstairs as Codey nonchalantly strolls toward the door in a fairly decent Marty McFly outfit. Andi calls him over to the couch and snuggles up to him a bit, then apparently has a hot flash, or maybe a touch of the vapors, and starts doing what every nice girl from 1955 does, which is remove her blouse. 

Codey: “Oh shit, Mom – uh, mama…baby? You can’t be taking your clothes off in front of me!”
Andi: “Why not? It’s fine. I think you’ve seen a girl’s underwear before. What’s the matter with you? Don’t you like me?”
Codey: “No, I like you…I like you a lot.”
Andi: “So prove it. Kiss me! I’m 18, Marty, a grown woman.”

Codey’s hesitant, but Andi isn’t, so she goes right in, and they share a deeply passionate intergenerational mother-son kiss with a surprising amount of tongue. 

After a few seconds of this, Andi breaks free. 

Andi: “Is this just me, or when I kiss you it feels like I’m kissing my stepbrother?”
Codey: “I get the same feeling, it just feels so wrong.”
Andi: “And yet so right!”

Andi shucks off those pants, revealing a pair of purple decidedly-not-Calvin-Klein-underwear and starts putting the lipstick to the dipstick.

I was hoping they’d do some more with this, like after a few minutes Andi takes his dick out of her mouth, and says, ‘Is it just me, but when I suck your dick it’s like I’m sucking my stepbrother’s dick’? Or maybe Codey pulls out a picture of his family and suddenly his brother looks like Chunk from The Goonies and his sister has uncontrollable nosebleeds? But no such luck. 

Anyway, they fuck in a variety of positions and the only thing worth really noting is that Codey is wearing a highly accurate digital Casio wristwatch:

Things end the way they normally do. Codey’s pullout game is strong, which is fortunate because if you’re traveling through time and fucking your mom without a condom (and they don’t bother pussyfooting around with any stepmom bullshit) you really don’t want to creampie her. 

Kissing: Yes

Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:

  • Fellatio: 5:49
  • Cunnilingus: 0:00

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