This one comes to us from Naughty Little Nymphos 6. We open on Ariko and Sabrina Jade (repeat offender) jogging around a rainy junkyard yelling for “Old Man Sanford”. Julian St. Jox (repeat offender) hollers back from inside a garage and asks them what they’re doing.
Sabrina: “Well Mr. Sanford we were on our way to the mall because we got out of school early and I told my friend you had some cool cars so I brought her over here to see your cars.”
Julian: “Well I don’t know if I want you girls back there, it’s a mess back there with all that mud, you know the cemetery rained out back there, I don’t know if I want you girls back there.”
Ariko: “The cemetery?”
Julian: “ Yeah, 10 years ago it rained for about three and a half weeks straight, it was real crazy, that damn cemetery washed all up in my back yard. You know they try to save money on caskets and things so they just bury people on top of each other, I think they take the casket and pull em out of that thing, they have dead bodies floating everywhere around my damn back yard, I saw five or six of them, scared the living hell out of me, I dunno, I dunno girls, I don’t think you should go back there right now, cause there might be anything back there, I hadn’t looked back there since it been raining so hard, I got scared, got me thinking about ten years ago.”
Holy fucking run-on sentence. Sabrina, however, thinks he’s just joking, and Julian tells them to be careful. So the girls go jogging out, and to be fair, there’s some pretty cool-ass cars out there.
They wander around inspecting everything and bending over extra far so we can see their panties. In fact, everything is going great until they come across a skull lying on the ground!
You know, if I had a nickel for every time a skull was featured prominently in a porno, I’d have ten cents, which isn’t a lot, but it’s still odd it happened twice.
The girls scream and freak out a bit and Ariko runs off. Sabrina is paralyzed in fear, at least until a terrifying hand comes out and grabs her by the leg! She screams and takes off, and the zombie monster stands up and lurches after her.
We’re then treated to a series of increasingly silly shots of the girls running screaming around the junkyard being pursued by increasingly silly-looking zombies, including one who is naked for some reason.
Eventually, one of the zombies gets Ariko. Like a good friend, Sabrina immediately abandons her.
We then cut indoors to Julian St. Jox sitting on his bed cleaning his toenails. Sabrina runs up.
Sabrina: “MR. SANFORD YOU WERE SO RIGHT THEY’RE ALL OUT THERE THE ZOMBIES THEY GOT MY FRIEND!”
Julian: “What the hell you talking about zombies, girl?”
Julian grumbles a bit, but puts his pants on and heads out to see what’s happening. Sabrina climbs up onto his bed (without taking her extremely wet and muddy shoes off first, I might note) and waits, all clenched up in fear. After a minute or so we see a zombie head appear at the window:
We then get a close-up of the zombie chewing at something that looks like they slathered a raw chuck roast with ketchup, then beat it to shreds with a weed whacker.
Sabrina screams in horror and leaps off the bed. We get a very artistic shot of her backing up in slow-mo, and she runs ass first straight into the naked zombie from before, AKA Devlin Weed.
Devlin pushes her down face-first onto the bed, and like a wet fart transitioning into shitting one’s pants, he slides his dick right into her. It’s so sudden and abrupt I thought for certain this film must be missing a reel like I was watching Grindhouse, but apparently not.
Julian is abruptly back in the room face-fucking her from the other side now. From there on out it’s your pretty standard interracial threesome, at least if one of the black dudes was caked in zombie makeup that made it look like his skull and neck was in the advance stages of decomposition.
Eventually Julian blows the load all over Sabrina’s face, then says “Thar she blows!” which is a pretty good line. Sabrina says it’s the zombie’s turn, and we’re then subjected to watching Devlin Weed jerk off onto Sabrina’s face. When he pops, there’s a sound effect of a massive explosion, and then the zombie collapses back onto the bed and…dies.
Sabrina is surprised by this, so she thumps Devlin a couple times in the ribs while Devlin tries (unsuccessfully) to hide the fact that he’s breathing hard. Finally she turns and yells for Mr. Sanford that the zombie “is done” and that’s about it.
Overall? You have to get them credit. Most porn that starts with two girls wandering around in slutty schoolgirl outfits will inevitably end up in a threesome, and this one does, but not the way you’d expect! Also, hats off to them for having the bravery to kill off one of their female stars, and to have the zombie die immediately upon climax. People die pretty infrequently in porn, and when they do, it’s usually to set up some necrophilia nonsense. It’s rare that you just see it as character motivation.
Kissing: No