We open on Van Wylde (repeat offender), who is sort’ve dressed as a delivery guy, helping a blind elderly gentleman, complete with oversized sunglasses and a cane, into an apartment:
The blind gentleman is uncredited, so let’s just call him Ray Charles, shall we?
Van explains that he needs Ray Charles to sign for the package – or, at least, someone to do so. Ray Charles shouts “Honey!” and Codi Vore breasts boobily into the room, so full of jiggly excitement she has to jump up and down, letting her tracts of land bounce in slow motion.
Codi Vore, as you may recall, is the national treasure who brought us What ARE You Doing, Step-Ladder? She immediately lets her titties pop out of her top which makes the mesmerized Van Wylde drop everything. Ray Charles gives Codi a surreptitious wink, for reasons that will become clear. Van recovers, then asks her to sign for the package – the box, not his package package – and Codi does.
Codi opens up the box and takes out a bright pink suction-cup dildo which she immediately crams into her mouth.
Ray Charles: “Well, what is it?”
Van: “Fuck!”
Ray Charles: “That bad, eh? My wife has some odd tastes. What is it?”
Van: “Um…it’s a lamp?”
Codi: “Well, I’m going to go set this…lamp…up in my bedroom and take a shower. My husband here will tip you.”
Ray Charles: “I’ll double tip you if you help me move some furniture!”
Van agrees, and we cut to Codi doing a sexy striptease for no one as she undresses for her shower. We then get an extended shower sequence with most of it being Codi sudsing up her chesticles. Eventually she attaches the dildo to the glass shower wall, fellates it briefly, and sticks it inside her vagina.
After a bit, Van – off on some errand for Ray Charles – wanders in and sees Codi clapping cheeks with the shower glass. He immediately pulls out his cell phone and snaps a few pictures.
Then Codi notices and steps out of the shower, pissed.
Van: “I’m so sorry, I was just going to jump in the shower and I – ”
Codi: “Not so fast!”
Codi fires the dildo at him, which sticks to the mirror next to Van’s shocked face. I’ll be honest, this would have made a *much* funnier thumbnail for this post, but Codi being bubbly is *far* superior clickbait. Sorry, Van. I do what I can.
Van: “Oh fuck! I’m so sorry!”
Codi, however, drops to her knees and starts opening up his pants. She tells him to shut up because her husband ‘has superhuman hearing’ – apparently we’ve got Daredevil over here – and starts putting the lipstick to the dipstick. They get in the shower and start fucking, and they’re not being terribly quiet about it. Everything is going great until Ray Charles comes in and sits down on the toilet, although he leaves his pants and underwear on. C’mon now. He’s blind, not stupid.
Ray Charles fakes a shit, washes his hands, and heads out. This is now the second porno that has featured a woman in the shower while a dude takes a shit, which is one more than I expected when I started Stupid Porn Plots.
Codi and Van move out onto the bed and again, are not even bothering to keep quiet. Codi talks a little cuck shit – “Your cock is so much bigger than my husbands!” Anyway. They fuck in a variety of positions and things end the way they normally do – except.
Immediately post-orgasm, Ray Charles comes in holding some cash.
Ray Charles: “Honey, have you seen the delivery guy? I forgot to give him that tip.”
Van tries to tiptoe out of the room, except Ray swings his cane up to block the exit and hands him the cash.
Ray Charles: “You have definitely served your purpose. And you look like you had fun, honey.”
Van: “What the fuck, you’re not blind! What the fuck is going on, are you guys fucking crazy?”
Van runs out of the room and Ray and Codi share a good chuckle.
Ray Charles: “We gotta do that again!”
That is…actually a pretty solid twist, as porn goes. Wife fucking the delivery guy and cucking out her husband, I’ve seen it a million times. Plot twist, her husband is blind and is bumbling around the house while they bump uglies, that’s a bit rarer. Her husband isn’t actually blind at all, he’s a cuck who gets off pretending to be blind so he can be in the room and trick unsuspecting delivery boys into nailing his wife in front of him? That’s some 4D chess right there. Way to fucking go.
Kissing: Yes
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 5:34
- Cunnilingus: 0:23