We open on an unidentified young man fucking around with his backpack. I haven’t been able to figure out exactly which scene this is so I have no idea who he is. Do you? Email me: stupidpornplots@gmail.com. They refer to him as ‘Connor’ in the scene, so we’ll go with that.  

Jodi West comes milfing down the stairs holding a full laundry basket. 

Jodi: “Are you still here?”
Connor: “Oh yeah, I’m just trying to get ready – ”
Jodi: “You told me to let you know when it’s 3:00 so you could get to your interview!”  
Connor: “Is it really almost 3:00?”
Jodi: “It’s 3:00 now! You gotta go!”

Connor heads out, but not before the notebook that was beneath his backpack falls to the floor. Jodi starts putting away Connor’s laundry and picks up the notebook. Later, in what is presumably her own bedroom, she rediscovers the notebook and realizes it must be Connor’s journal. She flips through for a bit, and then Connor comes in asking if she’s seen a book – and then sees she’s been flipping through his journal. 

Jodi: “I’m sorry. I – I’m really sorry -”
Connor: “It’s all good, I just came back for it -”
Jodi: “I – I – mean – it’s private – you’ve just been acting a little weird so I thought I’d get an insight into, what, you know, um, there’s some stuff in here, that – ”
Connor: “So you read it?”
Jodi: “I just read a little bit, I didn’t read the whole thing, I just read a tiny little bit, but, you know, I’m kinda concerned, I mean, it sounds like you’ve got someone that you’re, like, kind’ve obsessed with…I don’t want to say stalking, but you’re kind’ve like – well, just be careful, because you’re treading on some dangerous ground, you should be really careful, um…”

Jodi: “Does she know that you like her?”
Connor: “I honestly don’t know.”
Jodi: “Well, I mean, you’re…”

Jodi refers back to the journal.

Jodi: “…‘the way she was working out, I could see every line, her breasts were popping out, her tits were’ – I just can’t, this is kinda like – you need to figure out what’s going on here – maybe you need to talk to this girl, tell you how you feel, you know, you’re, you’re dad’s always taught you you could do whatever you want to do.”
Connor: “I don’t want to be like my dad, my dad treats you like crap, I’m nothing like him.”
Jodi: “You are your own man, so, you know, I just think personally, I think you have so much going for you, you’re going to get the job, you should just go for your dreams, I think you should tell the girl how you feel and I think you just act on it, I think you should go for broke.” 
Connor: “Just go for it?”
Jodi: “Just my opinion, I’m not your mom, but you know what?”
Connor: “So – I – I should just go for it, then?”
Jodi: “You should go for, you should just, you know, take the bull by the horns, and just go for it, just let her know how you feel, you know, and if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, and – ”

Jodi is somewhat taken aback by her stepson kissing her. Connor is a little confused, but Jodi protests that she didn’t know that the journal was about her. 

Connor: “Of course it was about you!”
Jodi: “Okay…we have got more serious issues than I thought. Oh boy.”
Connor: “This is awkward.”

This is why it’s important to make sure you’re actually talking about the same thing. It prevents those situations where you accidentally tongue-kiss your stepmom before you know she’s down for that shit.

They chat about it. Connor’s felt this way for awhile, he’s tired of his dad treating Jodi like crap, classic stepson shit, Jodi thinks he’s very sweet and will make someone a wonderful husband someday, but obviously, you know, this can’t happen, so she’s just going to go do the rest of the laundry. She gets up to leave but Connor grabs her by the hand and tosses her onto the bed. NO CONNOR NO BAD STEPSON!

Connor: “I don’t want you to leave, come here.”
Jodi: “No – Connor – Connor! CONNOR!”
Connor: “Does my dad do this for you?”
Jodi: “Oh my god, Connor, no way, this is – ”

Connor starts chowing down on her lady parts because apparently Jodi was going clamando beneath her dress, like most stepmoms do.  

Jodi: “Okay, I don’t want to dampen your spirits…oh my fuck lord.” 

And that’s about it. There’s some more dialogue about how ‘this isn’t right’ and the basic standard incest shit about how awful this is, and how much of a piece of shit Connor’s father is, but it’s not terribly interesting. They fuck in a variety of positions and things end the way they normally do.

Jodi: “Okay, here’s the rules. You’re gonna have to move out, get a job, but this? Yeah, this is still going on.”

Jodi: “Hide your journal better.” 

Overall? This is classic Jodi West. For the unfamiliar, Jodi found her niche and exploited the shit out of it. Rapey stepson-stepmom incest shit, with an inverted Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale. I’m not sure if Jodi just figured out that people who are into rapey stepson-stepmom incest shit like seeing the stepson go down on the stepmom more than the inverse, or if she’s just naturally a selfish lover, but either way, the cunnilingus substantially outweighs the fellatio in virtually anything Jodi West has ever done. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Still. Not a fan. I don’t like the rapey vibes. Consent is important. Incest is pretty boring. And you shouldn’t read your children’s journals, even if they aren’t blood related. Boundaries are important.

Kissing: Yes

Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:

• Fellatio: 1:08
• Cunnilingus: 3:05