After my last post – Destroyer of Worlds – I couldn’t help thinking there was clearly a huge missed opportunity there, so I decided to throw together this script. Big porn: you can have this one for free, just credit me (Lemony S.W.)

FADE IN: EXT CALIFORNIA DESERT. TED and HEIDI, an attractive mid thirties couple, stumble along, smudged with dirt, their clothes ragged. Ted clutches a NEARLY EMPTY WATER BOTTLE. Suddenly Heidi sees something up ahead. 

HEIDI
Look, a house!

We see a ramshackle house with the door left ajar. 

CUT TO: INT HOUSE. A thick layer of dust covers everything. Chairs knocked over, empty cans are everywhere. This house has been ransacked. We see a hand stealthily push the door open and it creaks loudly.

TED
Hello? Anyone home?

Silence. After a minute, Ted and Heidi enter, looking around nervously. We get quick shots of them opening cupboards and checking the fridge, but there’s nothing edible. 

CUT TO: INT BASEMENT. We’re looking up a flight of dimly lit stairs. Ted opens the door and the two weary travelers slowly come down the stairs. A single light is on, illuminating a small table stacked with DOZENS OF CANS OF FOOD. Ted and Heidi SCREAM in excitement and start forward, but just as they reach the table we hear the ominous RACKING of a SHOTGUN. Ted and Heidi freeze.

DONALD
Hold it right there.

A new light clicks on, illuminating Donald, a muscular black man, holding a menacing shotgun that’s pointed right at them. 

TED
Oh my god, please don’t hurt us!

HEIDI
Don’t shoot, don’t shoot! We’re starving, we just need something to eat!

DONALD
You think that gives you the right to take what’s mine?

HEIDI
We didn’t know!

TED
We thought this house was abandoned, I swear! We didn’t know it belonged to you.

HEIDI
Please help us, we’re so hungry.

Donald considers, looking the couple up and down thoughtfully. He lowers the shotgun a few inches.

DONALD
I guess we could come to some arrangement. 

HEIDI
L-like what?

DONALD
You want something of mine, I have to get something in return. That’s the art of the deal. 

TED
Well, we don’t have much…I don’t have money. 

DONALD
It’s the goddamn end of days, son. Money’s no good. I was thinking something more practical…a blowjob. 

TED AND HEIDI 
(together)
What!

DONALD
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt a warm mouth on my cock. I’ll give you four cans of food. Five if you swallow.

HEIDI
You can’t be serious! You’re disgusting!

TED
Well, hang on, hang on a minute. Let’s discuss this.

HEIDI
Are you crazy, Ted? 

TED
(to Donald)
Will you just let me talk to her for a second?

Donald taps his wristwatch.

DONALD
Tick-tock.

Ted pulls Heidi back a pace, they face each other closely.

HEIDI
You can’t ask this of me. Ted, we’re married!

TED
I know, baby, I know, but…let’s be serious. We’re starving. It’s been a week since either of us have eaten. We’re going to die out here. And what is it really? It’s a blowjob. It’s a simple, basic act. 

HEIDI
I just can’t, Ted! I couldn’t whore myself out like that!

TED
Don’t think of it like that! You’re saving a life! You’re saving both our lives! How can giving a blowjob compare to saving our lives? It’s going to be okay. It’s not going to come between us, I promise. 

HEIDI
But…I promised to be faithful to you.

TED
I know! Think of it like…a hall pass. It’s okay. I’m letting you know…it’s okay.

Heidi closes her eyes, sighs deeply, torn with indecision. Finally she resolves and opens back up.

HEIDI
Okay. I’ll do it.

Heidi turns to Donald, waiting across the room. 

HEIDI
Okay. You have a deal. I’ll give you a blowjob.

Donald laughs.

DONALD
Oh, sweetheart. What makes you think I was talking about you?

We VERTIGO ZOOM IN to the look of dawning horror on Ted’s face. 

TED
Oh no no no no no no. 

DONALD
Oh yes.

Heidi is now suddenly fully on board with this plan. 

HEIDI
No, no, just…think of it like a hall pass. I’m letting you know, you know, it’s okay.

TED
I can’t whore myself out like that! 

HEIDI
You’re saving both our lives. How can a blowjob compare to saving our lives? 

TED
But, but…but I’m not gay!

HEIDI
And I’m not a cheater, but if you don’t do this, we’re going to starve out here. Look, honey, it’s just a blowjob. It’s a simple, basic act. 

DONALD
Time’s up. Make a decision…or get the fuck out of my house. 

HEIDI
C’mon, sweetie. I’ll talk you through it.

Ted gives in and starts shuffling across the room. Donald releases his belt and his pants and underwear fall to the floor with a CLINK. Ted slowly goes down to his knees. He is NOT happy. He hesitates. 

HEIDI
You know what you always say, sweetheart. It’s not going to suck itself.

From here, the scenario can play out as you desire. You can get into some cuck shit, or however you want it to go. Sky’s the limit.