As it says in the title, this one is 1999’s Lust World, and it is, frankly fucking nuts. It comes from, you guessed it, our old friend Jim Powers.
We open on Joel Lawrence (repeat offender) and Leslie Rene, aka ‘Jill’ standing on a nice-looking beach hugging beneath background piano music.
After a minute Kyle Stone (repeat offender), aka ‘Steve’ wanders up. Joel, aka Bob, asks him if he found anything, and Steve says no.
Steve: “I think we’re the only survivors, man. I couldn’t even find a piece of the fucking boat washed up on shore!”
Alright, they’re shipwrecked, and they didn’t even have to scatter any debris around. Clever filmmaking right there. Bob insists that there must be some supplies that have washed up somewhere and suggests they split up and go looking.
Bob and Jill wander around and Leslie thinks the rocks look strange.
Jill: “You’d think they’d have newer volcanic rocks like in Hawaii. Where do you think we are?”
Bob: “I don’t know, Jill. When the storm hit us we were probably two hundred miles from Hawaii. But it could have blown us thirty miles in any different direction.”
Jill: “Bob, I’m scared! I’m no kind of camper. I’m not ready for this Robinson Ca-uh, ruso stuff.”
Jill mangles Robinson Crusoe’s name. No second takes! Bob tries to reassure her that there’s probably civilization right on the other side of this hill, but Jill is having none of it.
Jill: Bob, I’m scared. Make love to me right now!”
And then they fuck.
Things start out pretty normal, with a large black blanket appearing from nowhere so they don’t have to fuck on the ground.
Then Bob gets out a set of bright red anal beads (!!!), lubes them up, and stuffs them into Jill’s asshole. Which means the only things they had in their pockets that survived the shipwreck were a) anal beads, and b) lubricant.
Actually, that tracks. Most cruises are filled with the kind of sexual deviancy that would make Brazzers blush. So he fucks her in the butt, unleashes his survivor’s guilt all over Jill’s face, and the two of them share a steamy cum kiss.
We go back to the beach where Steve is drawing in the sand doing some dead reckoning about approximately where they are…which, by his best guess, is the middle of fucking nowhere. Not sure how this is supposed to help.
Jill: “I thought you said there weren’t any islands between California and Hawaii?”
Steve: “There aren’t.”
Bob: “I can’t believe I came on this fucking vacation with you! I could be sucking down margaritas in Cancun right now!”
Steve: “Will you just chill. Why don’t you think of this as the adventure of a lifetime?”
Bob: “Oh yeah? Does it slip your memory that three of our friends died on that boat? And if we don’t get some food, water, and shelter we’re going to be next!”
Wow, they’ve really been underplaying the fact that their friends are all dead. Although that does make the previous sex scene make a little more sense. As we all know, Thank-God-We’re-Alive-Sex is more common than you might think.
Steve suggests they hike to a high point to see if they can see anything. We are then treated to many, many, many shots of the three porn stars wandering awkwardly around this rocky California hillside, along with a few porny shots of Jill’s backside as she climbs uphill in her Daisy Dukes. Eventually they decide to take five and Steve finds a log to sit on that looks suspiciously like a dinosaur tail:
But as soon as he sits there’s a roar, the tail flails and knocks him sprawling, and we cut to a shot of a tiny plastic dinosaur twitching:
And that’s when I knew this movie was going to be fantastic. The dinosaur roars, and the sound effect is very, very obviously the T-Rex roar from Jurassic Park. It’s almost impossible to find this movie anywhere and that might be because they got a cease and desist from Universal. The three survivors run away screaming, and the toy dinosaur skitters out of frame.
We get a shot of some painted-up natives watching them through the grass, then cut forward to that evening as Steve smacks a couple stones together trying unsuccessfully to start a fire. There’s some sounds, and then the natives come rushing out and attack them! Oh no!
Joel gets bopped on the head and collapses, someone picks up Jill and carries her away screaming, and a native is about to stab Steve to death when another native – a beautiful blonde Ava Vincent holding a spear – knocks the native away and screams, saving Steve’s life.
Steve gets up and shouts for Bob. I’m guessing we are intended to conclude that Bob was also abducted, even though we didn’t see it.
Steve: “Thank you for saving my life. My name is Steve. Do you speak English?”
Ava: “…”
Steve: “Right. Like a wild jungle woman like you is going to speak English. Ooga booga is probably more like it. Me…Steve?”
Ava: “Me…Steve?”
Steve: “No no no no. I’m Steve. Me…Steve.”
Ava: “No no no no. I’m Steve. Me…Steve.”
Steve: “Oh, what’s the use? I couldn’t even learn Spanish in high school, how am I going to teach English to some jungle bimbo?”
Ava laughs.
Steve: “Great, and now she’s laughing at me.”
Ava: “My name is Shara and I speak perfect English. And I’m not a bimbo, by the way.”
Yeah, Steve, this jungle goddess just saved your life, show some fucking respect!
Steve stammers a bit, asks what a beautiful girl like her is doing out here, then asks who attacked them.
Shara: “Those are the Binyaga. They’re cannibals.”
Steve: “Cannibals? Did you say cannibals? They…they took Bob and Jill!”
Shara: “And if you don’t save them, they’re going to eat them.”
Fuck. Yes. There’s nothing I like better in pornography than cannibalism subplots.
Steve asks her to take him there, but Shara explains that it’s dangerous after dark because of all the predators. She leads him through the jungle and then a giant rubbery dinosaur appears through the underbrush!
The camera shakes wildly to unsuccessfully hide how poor this special effect is, Shara chucks her spear at its head, she and Steve make a run for it, and the T-Rex chases after them while waving its cute little arms up and down.
We cut over to Bob and Jill who are tied to a pole while the cannibals are standing around in tastefully offensive outfits while preparing a large stew pot:
This also tracks, I’ve never eaten human flesh, but I have to imagine that if you’re going to eat human soup, you want a nice broth to cook them in, along with some extras. Wild onions, garlic if you have it, plenty of root vegetables for dietary fiber, and needless to say, plenty of fresh herbs.
Jill: “Maybe they just want to have us over for dinner.”
Bob: “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
First solid joke of the movie.
The cannibals grab Bob and drag him away while Jill screams in terror and the pole they’re tied to rocks back and forth because it’s obviously not secured to anything. The two cannibals shove Bob out of the tent.
We then go back to a plastic toy dinosaur stop-motion approaching a plastic toy cave, but he can’t fit his head in through the entrance. I don’t know why I’m making the T-Rex a dude, all the ones in Jurassic Park were females. Luckily, Shara and Steve have made it safely inside the cave and are catching up. Steve is worried his friends will be eaten, but Shara assures him that’s unlikely, because the cannibals like to torture their captives for a few days first. This was made in 1999, so I’m guessing this was before adrenochrome conspiracies were commonplace, so this is just kinda fun.
At any rate, it’s time for some backstory.
Shara: “My family shipwrecked here on the island thirty years ago. I was born on the island. My mother died in childbirth, but my father educated me as best as he could. He died ten years ago. A tyrannosaurus ate him.”
Steve: “Whoa. Interesting life.”
That’s a bit of an understatement. Also, Steve, pro tip here, even if you aren’t trying to fuck someone, express some goddamn sympathy when they tell you their father was eaten by a tyrannosaurus. Social norms. Shara says there’s another non-cannibal tribe on the island where she has a few friends, but she doesn’t stay there because the chief keeps trying to fuck her.
Steve: “That’s terrible. So…do you have a boyfriend?”
Shara: “Hahaha! You’re funny, Steve. Do you find me pretty?”
Steve: “That isn’t…exactly the word I would use.”
Shara pulls open her furry bra, gently takes Steve by the head, and guides him to her nipples. Well. That’s one way to cut to the chase.
They fuck and it’s fine. I’m not sure where Shara gets her bikini wax done on this island, but it’s fine.
We go back to Bob, who is inside a very, very dark hut, while two sexy native women (Cheryl DeSilva and Barett Moore) are seductively undressing him. I’m a little confused, as I was led to believe he was going to be tortured and then eaten, but instead he’s having a poorly edited and under-lit threesome. I don’t know if this is just the version that I have that is glitchy as all hell, keeps cutting to black, and repeating several seconds of a shot, but it’s headache-inducing.
The natives give Bob a sponge bath using very modern sponges, mostly focusing on his dick. Which, again, tracks. If you’re on an island without running water and modern conveniences, there’s nothing worse than going down on someone who hasn’t bathed in six days and has a major case of swamp ass.
They fuck. Cheryl DeSilva has a very modern bikini tan line. It’s so dark you can barely see anything, and nothing really happens, so let’s move on.
Back at the cave, it’s the next morning, the T Rex has left, so Shara wakes Steve up to go find his friends. They wander along and two natives are there and they shoot Steve in the neck with a blowgun.
Steve collapses. They’re about to kill him, but Shara shouts at him (in their native tongue) to stop.
Shara: “Don’t be jealous, Chief Hardbone!”
Chief Hardbone: “Then give me something to appease my hunger.”
Shara: “What about these?”
Shara pulls out the twins.
Chief Hardbone: “Not bad………..les’t party.”
That’s not a typo. Or rather, that’s not my typo. I’m not sure how a spelling mistake that egregious made it all the way onto the DVD release, but hey, I’m not a professional pornographer, what the fuck do I know?
The Chief and his…lieutenant, I guess…come over and the three of them fuck. Which is a little odd. You’d think the chief who’s been lusting after Shara all these years would, you know, want her for himself. Unless he’s into that sort of thing. Which he seems to be. I’m not sure why I’m being so closed-minded all of a sudden. Bisexual Island, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Once the threesome ends, we abruptly shift back to the cannibal hut where music is pounding, everyone is dancing around, and Nikki Anderson is giving Jill a lapdance while she’s tied to the pole:
This is the last scene of the movie, and spoiler alert, nothing really happens, none of it makes sense, none of the plotlines are resolved in any way, so let’s just ramble through the highlights. The cannibals untie Jill. A gentleman who appears to be some kind of stereotypical witch doctor [!] appears inside the cooking pot [!!] holding a human skull [!!!] and a shrunken head [!!!!].
Everyone prances around dancing and making offensive native sounds and screeching wildly. They strip Jill naked and lay her down on some kind of altar.
The first time I watched this I sort’ve halfway appreciated this scene because I assumed that the setup would pay off in some way – Jill was about to be sacrificed and eaten. Instead, they wash her with sponges, oil her up, and an orgy begins.
It’s terribly edited, with quick, second-long cuts like Tony Scott on crystal meth, repeated shots, random non-porn extras with the right ethnic look recruited to stand in the background and watch these actors fuck. At some point Bob appears, all dressed up in face paint and tooth necklaces, because evidently he’s been inducted into the tribe of the cannibals.
Everyone bounces around hot-swapping between vaginas and assholes like it’s going out of style. At some point Shara and Steve appear to watch what’s happening through the tall grass:
Shara: “It’s too late for your friends. They’re gone now.”
Steve nods, because apparently he’s willing to abandon his friends after a single orgy with the cannibals, and he and Shara run away. We go back to the orgy to see a series of cumshots, and then cut inside the cage to the prisoner, who is jerking off a limp cock inside a cockring, and on that lovely image, we fade to black.
Overall? This is not a good porno by any stretch of the imagination. The first half flirts with being ‘so bad it’s good’, primarily due to the absurd dinosaur effects and nonsense like the anal beads. But then…the plot just ends and we abandon the whole cannibalism subplot. It’d be one thing if, say, they just wanted to focus on the sex. Porn pretty frequently sets up a vague outline of what might be considered a plot and then just focuses on the fucking for the rest of the scene, without even a wink and a nod at the end. I find it infuriating, but it’s the name of the game. Here, the sex at the end is straight-up terrible, and half the time the camera is focused on half-naked fat dudes in the background looking bored.
On the other hand, there’s a reason why this site is called Stupid Porn Plots, and this plot was stupid as hell, but more importantly, it’s batshit fucking insane, and I like that.
Kissing: Yes