We open on a black and white photograph of Jack Hammer (repeat offender) staring directly at the camera while suspenseful music plays, and a voice-over kicks in. As it narrates, we get side angles of Jack, as if these are supposed to be his mug shots, but they were too cheap to spring for the height chart behind him:
Voiceover: “James Bowder. A man whose insatiable lust and desires had led to sexual crimes across the West Coast of the United States. Bowder was an acronym [Ed: what??] of all who knew his history. He was a man who took care of his family monetary support, as well as being an excellent father to his children. Bowder was also a sexual deviant whose job as a janitor in the local school district had led him to have access to addresses and information on potential victims. Bowder’s secret life was a shock to all who knew him. James Bowder was convicted of 23 sexual crimes in the fall of 1989. He’s been serving time in the state penitentiary. James Bowder was sentenced to life with no chance of parole. James Bowder was a classical case study whose mind was being studied by a team of psychologists whose hope was to have a better understanding of the mind of a serial sexual predator.”
- Pro: Takes care of his family, excellent father
- Con: Serial sexual predator
- Pro: Serving life without parole
- Con: Premise for a porn scene?
Also: this scene hails from Nineteen Video Magazine 41. As you may recall, back in Confessions of a Nope Nuh-Uh (Nineteen Video Magazine 34) Jack Hammer played a sex offender who did four years in the state penitentiary. What is with these guys casting him as a sex offender? Yeah, he looks like a reasonably sketchy dude who’s covered in tattoos, but why the fuck do they think this is a good plotline?
We cut to a gentleman in a tie extracting a manila envelope from a filing cabinet and flipping through it. The director, Don Marque, hauls a ziptied Jack Hammer into the room and places him not-too-gently in the chair.
Warden: “Thank you, guard, that’ll be all. You finished, Bowder?”
Bowder: “Fuck you, Warden!”
Warden: “Our reports from the watch say you’ve been masturbating more than usual. Why is that, Bowder?”
Bowder: “I’ve been thinking about fucking your ass!”
Okay, that’s a pretty solid line, although likely one that would get you a few weeks in the hole in real life. The warden agrees:
Warden: “Bowder, you want the guards to visit your cell tonight for an attitude adjustment?”
Bowder: “No.”
Warden: “Or how’d you like to be thrown in general population – do you know what they do to sexual deviants in general population, Bowder?”
This is painfully stilted dialogue. You’d think the warden would just call it ‘gen pop’.
Bowder doesn’t, so the warden tells him to answer the question about why he’s been jerking it so much, and starts a tape recorder. Bowder dithers a little, and then…
Bowder: “She said she was nineteen…”
That’s never a good way to begin a sentence.
Bowder: “…and she was consenting.”
Even if it ends that way.
We slowly zoom in on Bowder and then cross-fade over to Noname Jane, asleep on the couch. Fun fact about Noname Jane, she originally went by the pseudonym Violet Blue, until she was sued by the author and sex columnist Violet Blue, and was forced to change her nome de plume to the passive-aggressive Noname Jane.
Bowder (V.O.): “She was a babysitter who had worked for us for years. This was before I began to do bad things. I can’t remember why she had spent the night. I guess that isn’t important. I had wanted her from the first day I met her. After that night I looked upon my wife with disgust. Her wrinkled old body, not having the sweetness and purity of youth. I never made love to her again.”
This is why you never let the babysitter spend the night, and especially not sleep on the couch in her panties, barely covered by a pink sheet.
Bowder sits down next to the sleeping babysitter and starts touching and kissing on her exposed legs. No! NO! CONSENT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
I guess knowing he gets sentenced to life without parole does help, but only a little.
Noname Jane wakes up, and she’s into it, so they fuck in a variety of positions and things end the way they normally do. I was a little worried we weren’t going to get closure, but right after he bricks all over her abdomen, we fade back into the prison.
Warden: “I don’t understand. What did you feel about that encounter that was so special, Bowder?”
Bowder: “Are you fucking stupid?!”
Warden: “Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Humor me. Explain.”
Bowder: “The closest way I can make you understand…it was the first time I had tasted pure innocence. It was like doing a drug for the first time! The first time is always the best!”
Agree to disagree.
Warden: “You were chasing a high, so to speak.”
Bowder: “Mmm…yes. Instead of a drug high. Oh, lord, the purity that I tasted that night…was great.”
Warden: “So. You can never achieve the sexual gratification of that encounter. And the sexual attacks where you try to achieve the release that this episode allowed…right?”
Bowder: “It was the innocence that I was after. The innocence!”
Warden: “Excellent. That’ll be enough. Guard!”
The guard hauls Bowder out, and the Warden lights a victory cigarette while he makes some notes on his legal pad. We then cross-fade to another scene of the warden sitting thoughtfully at his desk.
Director (off-screen, quietly): “Push play.”
Jesus fucking Christ, you people. USE FUCKING HAND SIGNALS or just edit out the goddamn stage instructions. This is a film set. ACT LIKE IT.
The Warden picks up his tape recorder and hits play. We get a close-up on the tape recorder, and then:
Bowder: “It was the innocence that I was after. The innocence!”
Gross.
This…was trash. I’m not sure why any porn director would think a plot about a serial rapist was a good idea, but let’s say you wanted to film something with those rapey vibes, why would you then…film a not-really-but-by-porn-standards-somewhat-consensual sex scene? Why bother marrying these two things?
Kissing: No
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 2:03
- Cunnilingus: 2:36