This one comes to us from – shocker – Naughty Little Nymphos 16, although it was also repackaged for the creatively titled Don’t Tell Mommy I Fucked My Stepdad 16 in 2011. We open on a title card, which I always appreciate.
We pan over to reveal Tiffany Holiday, sitting morosely outside this very-expensive-looking house, staring into the middle distance like she’s questioning every decision that has brought her to this place. After a moment, Herschel Savage (repeat offender) comes up from behind.
Herschel: “What are you doing out here, Tiffany?”
Tiffany: “Nothing.”
Herschel: “What’s the matter, you look sad?”
Tiffany: “You know what, my daddy never bought me a Slip’N’Slide. I want on!”
Herschel: “Slip and – you’re kinda old to be playing on a Slip’N’Slide, you’re eighteen.”
God-damn that’s some smooth exposition.
Tiffany: “I’ve never had one, I’ll be too old to use it later.”
Herschel: “Well look, I’m your stepdad, but I guess I could set up some Slip’N’Slide out here on the lawn…
Tiffany: “Yeah, so the neighbors can see me and laugh at me? Every boy in town will be all ‘Oh, she’s 18 on a Slip’N’Slide’.”
Herschel: “Well…tell you what, Tiffany, let’s go get some lunch, I’m starved. I’ll think of something.”
Okay, I’m willing to grant the hypothetical that maybe Tiffany woke up after her 18th birthday, filled with dismay that she never had a magical childhood Slip’N’Slide experience, but I’m not willing to grant that she’s somehow embarrassed about using said Slip’N’Slide in public. I went to college, and on the hot days all the frat houses would bust out Slip’N’Slides and hold competitions, because having a Slip’N’Slide and beer is a great way to get girls into wet bikinis.
We cut inside the house and Herschel yells for Tiffany to come downstairs because he has a surprise for her. He takes her into the living room and reveals…a homemade Slip’N’Slide, which is a large blue tarp, and three bottles of…oil? Anal lubricant? It’s hard to tell. Herschel grabs a bottle and starts squirting fuck juice everywhere while shouting about how great it is.
You know, one of the things that makes a Slip’N’Slide effective is having it be on grass, which cushions you as you throw yourself along it. I think a lubed-up tarp on hardwoods would be painful as shit.
Herschel: “I’m doing stuff for you your father never thought of! We’re going to have so much fun!”
Herschel’s getting way too into this. Tiffany, though, has a question.
Tiffany: “Why are you in your underwear, stepdaddy?
That’s never a good question. Herschel says that it’s time to Slip’N’Slide, and suggests she also strip down to her underwear. Tiffany puts up about as much resistance as girls in porn usually do. They strip down and Tiffany does an oil slide across the tarp. Inside of ten seconds they’re both nude and Herschel’s jerking off watching his stepdaughter flail around on an oil-covered tarp.
Tiffany: “Are you…jacking off?”
Nothing gets past this girl.
Herschel suggests she oil up his dick, because it’s a little dry, and once you’ve gotten your stepdaughter to lube your dick up with oil, it’s pretty simple to transition to fucking, so that’s what they do.
They fuck. It’s not terribly interesting, except this bit:
Tiffany: “Slip’N’Slide inside me, daddy.”
Both actors are also clearly struggling to actually fuck each other because they and the floor are covered in oil, to the point that eventually they take a break to wipe most of the oil off and move over off the edge of the tarp, because this wasn’t that good of an idea.
Eventually he’s got her in a piledriver position and fucking her in the ass, pulling out perodically so we can stare straight down into her gaping asshole, past the rectum, and into the lower intestine, because that’s…a thing? And I feel like I understand a lot about porn, and we don’t like to kink-shame here at Stupid Porn Plots, so if that’s your thing, god bless you, but it’s not mine. At all.
She suggests that he come inside her asshole, he thinks this is a brilliant idea, and does so. Tiffany then tries to blurp the cum out of her ass, and a big white dollop pops out, along with a string of yellow-brown shit.
I didn’t need to see that, and it would not have been that hard to cut around that, because they make a half-assed attempt to do so because a second or so later the shit is gone so Tiffany can scoop the cum off her butthole and eat it. So…cut a second or so earlier, problem solved.
On the plus side…at least they committed to the bit.
Kissing: No
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 2:07
- Cunnilingus: 0:00