Statistically, if you’re reading this right now, you probably know what Reddit is, and you probably came here because this page was linked from Reddit. For the handful of you who don’t know “the front page of the internet”, Reddit is a place where:
- lonely teenage virgins ask sexy questions answered by other lonely teenage virgins
- fifteen-year-olds confidently tell people to dump their significant other over minor disagreements
- people misuse the word ‘gaslight’
- bots repost things
- male incels congregate in safe places to validate each other’s feelings and unite in their hatred of women
- female incels congregate in safe places to validate each other’s feelings and unite in their hatred of men
- lots of porn, some more problematic than others
- lots of porn hate, some more problematic than others
- Ask Me Anythings, which have sucked since Victoria left
Ask Me Anythings range from boring to great, but very rarely achieve legendary status. The most legendary of them all is the about a teenager who had an sexual relationship with his mother after he broke both of his arms and was unable to jerk off. You’re probably thinking, creative writing project, right? Well, evidently not, since a Ph.D. studying incest verified that the poster in question had actually fucked his actual, blood-related mom. None of this step-mom fauxcest bullshit.
People went nuts. Questions were asked. Questions were answered. People learned things about themselves:
If you haven’t read it, you need to read it. And it went down in Reddit history and even today people will still randomly bring it up because, you know.
Needless to say, once you have an internet-famous story about pornography’s favorite subject – incest – you have a match made in heaven. Not only has porn been made of it…it’s done it several times. So let’s take a look at one of these called Mom’s Helping Hand, from our good friends over at Pure Taboo.
We open on a Get Well Soon balloon and pan down artistically to see an out-of-focus bed, some cards and flowers on a bedside table, and finally Codey Steele, or “Aaron”, lying in bed with his arms suspended from the ceiling.
Okay. C’mon now. You have to be able to do better than a couple of carpal tunnel wrist braces. Fuck, get some ACE bandages, wrap his arms up, and have a couple people sign it.
He tries to fetch the remote from his side, but he can’t do it. As he struggles, we pan over to the door to see Kit Mercer looking in. She comes in with a laundry basket AND the mail, which is odd, and explains that he’s gotten some more letters, including one from his grandma, which she helpfully reads: “Aaron, I was absolutely devastated to learn about your accident. I can’t even imagine – ”
Aaron breaks in to say “Mom, I don’t want to hear it!” Excellent. Relationships are being established.
Kit moves the remote control closer, although still clearly out of reach of his suspended hands. Aaron apologizes, and says he’s frustrated because he can’t do anything.
Kit sympathizes with him and says she feels bad about the generic “accident” – especially at his age! She can’t imagine what he’s going through. Aaron agrees! He can’t brush his teeth, he can’t dress himself, he can’t even – then he dramatically trails off after half-gesturing to his groin.
Kit: “Aaron, I know I’m just your step-mom, but I consider you my son. I just…feel so powerless. I really wish there was something I could do to help.
Aaron: “Mom, you can’t help. Not with…this.
Kit: “Aaron, please? Let me help.”
Kit slips her hand beneath the bedspread.
Kit: “I know why you’ve been so frustrated these last few weeks. Am I wrong?
Aaron: “Well….uh…”
Kit: “No one could blame you. A young man like you, 20 years old. Your needs, and…I understand. I’ve been trying to think of a way I can help you. A step-mom should be able to help her step-son in times of need. Please, let me help you.
Aaron: “But…you’re my mom. That’s really messed up. Like, what the fuck? Are you like, attracted to me or some sick shit?
Gotta say: it’s a little weird for porn to be this on the nose.
Kit: “No, of course not, Aaron. I know this is strange, it’s an awkward situation, it’s strange for me too. But it’s not about how I feel, it’s about taking care of you, and your needs.
Aaron: “Like…what about Dad?
Kit: “I don’t think your father needs to know, this is an embarrassing enough situation for him as is [Kit realizes her error] – for you as is – it’s already awkward, and besides, it’s not like we’re making love, just gentle touching. Just a helping hand.”
Aaron says he doesn’t know what she wants him to say. Hopefully “yes”, otherwise this is going to get very rapey very quickly.
Kit: “Just lay back and relax.”
I was hoping she would add “and think of England” but instead she starts giving him a handy. Not a particularly good one, in my opinion, especially because she’s looking away while she does it and there’s a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Also probably because – hot take incoming – handjobs are awful.
As if to prove my point, there’s a very fake orgasm where we cut away and cut back and there’s fake jizz on Aaron’s cock. Kit cleans up with a towel and says she has to go make dinner and leaves…leaving the wet jizzrag on top of Aaron. That’s a power move right there. That’s asserting dominance.
We get the title card now:
Apparently, that was just the cold open of this 60-minute porno.
In the next scene, Kit sits at a darkened kitchen table while she examines a generic bill and looks sad. Aaron calls for her and says he needs something for the pain, but Kit says he has to wait for another hour. Kit asks if there’s “anything else” she can do. Aaron says she doesn’t have to.
Kit sits down and exposits that obviously things have been a little awkward since, you know. Aaron hastily says they don’t need to talk about it. Thus far, this has the ring of truth. I would imagine the days following an incestual mother-son handjob would be awkward for everyone involved.
Kit tries to cut through this and tells Aaron he can talk to her anytime and he doesn’t have to be ashamed of having his mom give him the five-knuckle-shuffle, and finally point-blank asks if he wants her to do it again, plus she has a bright new idea:
Kit: “Would you like me to put my mouth on it?”
Ladies: There is never a need to ask that question, the answer is always yes. (Yes, even if it’s your mom. In for a penny, in for a pound.)
Aaron: “Uh, no, I wouldn’t…I don’t…wouldn’t…want to ask…”
Kit: “It’s okay sweetie, I don’t mind.”
Aaron: “Oh…oh…okay…yes please.”
Kit: “Just relax.”
Kit starts blowing him, and luckily, there’s almost no light in this scene, so you can’t really see anything and it’s super artistic and shit.
Eventually, Aaron moans a bit and fake orgasms and Kit removes her lips from his completely dry penis. Kit, however, has some regrets:
We all know what post-nut clarity is, but is there such a thing as post-nut clarity when you’re not the person nutting?
The music gets mournful and we fade to black, then fade back in on an artsy shot of a flower waving in the wind which represents the passage of time?
Inside, we see Kit adjusting pillows, and Aaron walks in, brace-free, and says that Dad just dropped him off from the doctors but then went back to work. He’s healed now! Kit is excited that things will soon be back to normal, but Aaron is sad because he got used to ‘certain routines’ between the two of them, while getting way too close to Kit. Although once your mom has blown you, I guess personal bubbles don’t matter as much.
Aaron says he doesn’t want it to stop, but Kit says it can never happen again. They argue for a bit, and Aaron raises his voice: “YOU CAN’T JUST TEASE ME LIKE THAT.”
Okay. First of all, giving someone a blowjob to completion is NOT teasing, second of all, it wouldn’t matter if it was, third, this is now getting aggressively rapey, although both Kit and Aaron are being wildly inappropriate.
That’s a deeply terrifying statement, but I’m almost too mesmerized by the cross on top of the headboard.
Kit is horrified and asks what he means, and Aaron says that if she doesn’t do what he wants, he’ll tell Dad everything. Kit gasps in horror.
We are now very far afield from the source material – for the Redditor incest story, his dad was fully aware he was banging the mom and that knowledge improved the dad-mom sex life as well. And to be honest, that’s a lot kinkier, so I’m surprised this porno isn’t leaning into that angle.
Aaron throws some furniture, screams at his mom some more, repeats the threat, and finally Kit agrees to fuck him. Credit where credit is due, you can really buy that Kit is terrified in this scene. It’s probably not a great thing that her most convincing acting is in a scene where a man screams at her, smashes furniture, and threatens her unless she sexually pleases him.
So she blows him (for 4 minutes 49 seconds) and he eats her out (for 31 seconds), and then they fuck. Aaron asks her if she wants it and Kit says she does and Aaron says that “he knew she did”. So apparently the sex is back to consensual. What a bunch of fucking bullshit.
The sex is fairly vanilla bullshit with some muttered dialogue, mostly Aaron saying “You gonna take care of me” and Kit saying “I’ll do anything to take care of you” on repeat. Although Kit does constantly refer to Aaron as “Sweetie” which is…weird, but probably well-suited for incest porn.
Anyway, they fuck in a variety of positions for a good thirty minutes. She blows him twice more (for 0:28 and 1:34, respectively), and things end the way they normally do and there’s a couple of loud queefs which I always find amusing.
Immediately after, Aaron says “No more teasing. You give me what I want,” which again, have to emphasize just how fucking creepy and awful that is. We get a final scene where Aaron is combing his hair and Kit comes to collect the laundry, and mention she’s going on a date with Aaron’s father that night, so there’s no need to wait up. And with that…credits.
Overall, pretty disappointing. Not a fan of where they took the storyline, and honestly, once they start fucking, they pretty much check out of the storyline. They didn’t even need to come up with jokes, the Reddit thread had them all written for them.
Kissing: Yes
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 10:11
- Cunnilingus: 0:34
Yikes.