I’m going to come out and say it. I’m not a fan of the “Help Me, Step-Whatever, I’m Stuck” genre in pornography. That’s not to say the memes aren’t hilarious: they are. It’s just that the porn fucking sucks.
I’ve mentioned before I’m not a fan of rapey porn. Porn has a long and storied history of plotlines where the woman isn’t into it but the guy just keeps going over her protests and inside of a minute or two the woman changes her mind and is totally into it. Fuck, the second porno we ever reviewed had that exact plot. It’s not a great message to be sending out into the world, especially given the percentage of the population whose delusional parents opted them out of sex ed because they think that a lack of information will keep their teens from climbing fuck mountain. Hello, teenage pregnancy, STDs, and #MeToo.
Over the past few decades, it seems like porn companies have (kinda) gotten the message. More porn explicitly includes consent, put a disclaimer at the end, or have a scene before or after sex where the actors address the camera, you name it. And then, a couple years ago, the “I’m stuck” genre really took off.
Some douchebag in a fedora would probably argue the rise of “stuck” porn mirrors our collective frustration at being stuck at home during a global pandemic, and they would probably be wrong.
Also, needless to say, this genre of porn is aggressively rapey. (There are exceptions, of course)
But Lemony, you may be saying, it’s porn. Everyone knows it’s fake. Why does this matter?
Eh. It’s 2022 as of the writing, and a surprising percentage of the population get medical advice from a podcast guy who once made reality show contestants drink donkey cum on television. People are fucking stupid. It’s not hard to make porn consensual, so why not just fucking do that?
For the uninitiated, a typical scene usually involves a step-mom or step-sister doing mundane housekeeping tasks before she finds herself stuck and unable to free herself. Along comes the step-son or step-bro (step-dads are very rare) or the boyfriend (if they aren’t leaning into the incest angle) who is usually holding a camera for reasons unexplained, and then he rapes her. But, you know, she’s into it. Because porn.
Sometimes it’s a washing machine.
Sometimes it’s a pool table.
Sometimes it’s a window, and there’s two guys involved.
Sometimes it’s a dishwasher.
Sometimes, it’s two girls BOTH stuck under the bed.
Sometimes, it’s a girl with her hand “stuck”….inside the cavity of a chicken inside an oven.
In fact, the main thing tying all of these together is the fact that the actress is blatantly obviously not actually stuck, which is the other reason why I hate this genre. Like, if you want to pretend she’s stuck and can’t get out, at least make it look like she’s stuck and can’t get out, rather than “back up six inches, you’re fine” or “move your wrist to the left”.
For this one, we open up on Alexis Fawx who is very momentarily glad her son showed up because she has her hand trapped in the garbage disposal. (Interestingly, this one makes no mention of step-anything, Alexis refers to him as her son and herself as his mother multiple times)
Son / camera operator (this is one of those dogshit POV videos) tries to feel her up and she aggressively slaps his hand away. He wants to see her breast. She’s pissed, but agrees, and exposes her right boob, then slaps his hand away when he tries to fondle it. He smacks her ass, and Alexis yells at him, saying she’s going to tell his father.
Things progress, he aggressively grabs her hand, forces her to stroke his cock, slaps her ass, all over her protests while she begs for help getting released. It’s…bad. Eventually he grabs the back of her neck and slams her mouth onto his cock. When she protests, he raises a finger and holds it over the switch on the wall. Wait…so now he’s threatening to grind up his mother’s hand in the garbage disposal unless she gives him a blowjob. Jesus fucking Christ.
Messy fellatio at garbage disposal-point ensues. Finally he decides to take her top off, so ALEXIS PULLS HER HAND OUT OF THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL SO HE CAN TAKE IT OFF – AND THEN PUTS IT BACK IN!
I guess on the one hand this could be a subtle signal to the audience that “this is the stupidest fucking thing imaginable that we are putting no effort into, don’t take this seriously”. On the other hand…actually, I don’t have anything.
He pops in her mouth, then backs away. Alexis shrieks about he he’s leaving her stuck, we fade to black, then fade back in for round two, where he’s going to…fuck her? He again threatens to grind off her hand by pointing at the garbage disposal switch.
Alexis: “No! Don’t turn that on, are you fucking crazy? Are you psycho? What the fuck’s wrong with you? You better not, what you think, I’m your mother! Do you not care, do you not give a shit?”
He fucks her. She yells protests throughout, including a “You’re so much bigger than your father!” which is weird. Later they switch position and her hand blatantly comes out of the disposal a second time, but hey, no second takes, right?
Things end the way they normally do, and he rubs some soap on her wrist and her hand comes right out. Wow, good thing she didn’t think of using the soap that was right next to the sink.
We close with a post-credits disclaimer to assure us that actually, it was a step-family, despite the actors not using the word.
Yeah. This sucks.
The TikTok was genuinely hilarious, though.
Kissing: No