This one comes to us from Teacher’s Pet 2, the same DVD where the infamous Pledge of Allegiance scene originated. Jim Powers is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
We open on a fairly generic office room with blue walls. Jay Ashley and Alex Rox enter, whispering like two delighted schoolgirls, and carefully lift the corkboard off the wall, revealing a small round hole at roughly eye-level.
We’re treated to a POV shot of Aurora Snow naked and toweling off, much to the delight of these two Peeping Toms.
They watch her and discuss how hot and naked she is, far too loudly…Aurora would obviously be able to hear them. But she doesn’t, so their next step is to drag the desk over so it’s flush against the wall. Jay hops up on the desk, drops trou, and thrusts his erect dong through the hole.
Jay: “Chickey chickey chickey chick-ee! Yoo-oo! Hi! I’m Peter the penis! And I just love looking at you getting dressed!”
Pro tip: if you’re going to name your penis (don’t) pick something better than Peter. But Jay and Alex cackle like idiots. Aurora, displaying uncommonly good sense, mutters “Fucking bastard!”, grabs Jay’s dick, and yanks him face and dick-first into the other side of the wall. Alex jumps up and grabs Jay from behind to try and help him break free. Aurora, on the other hand, has her legs braced against the wall and is doing her best to tear Jay’s penis right off his body.
This is, unfortunately, just a fake penis, but for those of you who were not dissuaded by the lessons learned in Schrödinger’s Glory Hole, this is just one of the possible outcomes if you stick your dick through to a stranger. Consider yourself warned.
Eventually Alex helps Jay break free and they scramble out of the room. We then cut forward to Marc Cummings (repeat offender) dressed as the athletic coach, talking to Aurora.
Aurora: “I was in the locker room, and I was just drying off, and all of the sudden there was a peepee sticking through the wall.
Marc: “…a peepee?”
Aurora: “Yeah.”
Marc: “You mean a…a peepee?”
Marc makes some vague hand gestures and Aurora nods. Marc asks her to continue.
Aurora: “It was bigger and going round, and I feel so violated! I mean, here I was, just there, and, but, I didn’t know what to do, and I just went up to it, and started grabbing it, cause it was sorta like self-defense, because it was there. It was coming at me!”
Careful, Aurora. That’s the type of excuse that is only going to work with a black dick. I don’t like it, you don’t like it, but that’s the world we live in.
Marc assures her that they’ll “get to the bottom of this” while affectionately touching her knee, and scoops up his phone.
Marc (on the phone): “Mildred, have Horace and Fez sent in immediately. Thank you.”
Great name choices.
We cut forward. Jay and Alex are now back in the room. Marc smacks his desk menacingly. I notice that this is the same room as before, which means this peephole into the girls’ locker room is actually behind the corkboard in Marc’s office, implying he either cut it himself or must at least be aware of its existence. Interesting. I wonder if this will become relevant later?
Marc: “Ladies! You know why I called you in here, don’t you?”
Jay: “No, coach.”
Marc: “We’ve had an incident in the girls’ locker room. Evidently somebody thought it’d be funny to put their willy through the wall and scare this lovely young lady here. And she got a good look at it.”
Alex: “We don’t know anything about that.”
Jay: “Nope!”
Marc: (to Aurora) “You don’t know which one it is?”
Aurora: “Well, I didn’t see this part of them.”
Marc: “Just the – all right, drop’em, show her your package. She’s gonna find out who it is. You heard me, now!”
Jay: “That’s kinda fucked up, coach.”
Marc: “Hey, I didn’t ask you for any back talk. (To Aurora) All right, see if you can find out who it is.”
Jay and Alex drop their pants and Aurora inspects them, but she informs Marc that she can’t tell, because it was all “swollen and hard” when she saw it.
Marc: “Well boys, get’em swollen!”
Jay: “No way, coach, I’m not doing that.
Marc: “You’ll do it and you’ll like it, young man!”
Alex: “Why? I can’t – ”
Aurora: “I’ll do it! I’ll do whatever it takes to catch the criminal.”
Aurora drops to her knees and starts polishing Alex’s knob. Jay begs Coach Marc to leave, but Marc tells him to stay put. After maybe twenty seconds of fellatio Aurora confirms that Alex’s penis was not the offender, and moves on to Jay.
Jay: “Coach, I really don’t want to be a part of this.”
Marc: “Aw, stop your sniveling, Horace, and take it.”
So Aurora sucks Jay’s dick – pretty enthusiastically, considering she’s just trying to make a positive ID. I have to question the methodology here. She didn’t suck the dick when it was coming through the peephole, she only had it in her hand. A more realistic test would be her trying to rip his dick off his body, but this being porn, I’d settle for a handjob. But after several minutes of fellatio Aurora pops the schlong out of her mouth and says “That’s it, Coach, that’s the one!”
Unfortunately, Coach Marc is now jerking off in the corner.
Marc: “Um…let’s not rule anything out. We’ll leave no stone unturned! You should check this one out too.”
Aurora: “Coach!”
She gives in and starts sucking Coach Marc’s dick without much protest, however.
Marc: “That’s it. One for the Gipper.”
I don’t want to think about Ronald fucking Reagan while I’m trying to jerk off, Jim.
Aurora does a triple blowjob. Coach Marc says that this is the boys’ punishment, as if getting head from a pornstar is somehow…bad? Although doing it in the same room as your coach might be kinda awkward. I have to commend Aurora on her dexterity, though, it can’t be easy to give fellatio while simultaneously jerking a penis in each hand.
Anyway. They all fuck in a variety of positions and the majority of the orifices and eventually things end the way they normally do. Her face caked with three different sources of shame glaze, Aurora ties a bow on the scene:
Aurora: “Thanks Coach. I feel better now!”
I find these types of plots to be intolerable. The setup: people are angry at each other, so they decide to have sex. Why? They don’t even lean into the hate-fucking angle. On top of that, what a wasted premise. A scenario where a young woman has to pick a dick out of a lineup of the usual suspects dickspects? That has the potential to be a straight-up slice of fried gold, and instead, they just shit the bed. The storyline is completely incoherent and Aurora’s character motivation makes no sense throughout. It’s one thing to force yourself to suck a dick so you can catch the campus voyeur, it’s another to suddenly start fucking the sexual predator once you’ve figured out who it is.
Kissing: No