Last week we saw a lovely story about two sorostitutes fucking their biology tutor to see…if his penis was larger than a calamari’s dick? The plot didn’t make a lot of sense. This is the next scene from the same DVD: Kelly the Coed 11: Daddy’s Little Angel.

We fade in on a woman walking up toward a frat house, while a female voiceover kicks in:

V.O.: “Like most of us Pi Pis, she’s having a hard time with her grades. Girls shouldn’t have to study. Just…suck dick. That’s what the frat guys say. But professors say different, though.”

I’d like to imagine that this has been an ongoing debate in one or more classes between frat guys and increasingly exasperated professors.

V.O.: “Anyway, Jill’s going back to the Kappa house to see if she can find Dinged Up Dong. He’s a Japanese student who’s very smart. He’s also her tutor. I saw him getting really fucked up hard last night at the Kappa party. I bet he’s not feeling too good.”

As the voiceover ends, we pan down the staircase to see a passed-out Dango Shiratama, surrounded by half-full beer cups, leg draped over a keg, and wearing a Georgia Tech shirt. Shout out to Georgia Tech, not sure if they sponsored this porno, but education is important. 

Chelsea Sinclaire comes down the stairs and starts shaking Dango, trying to wake him up. 

Chelsea: “You’ve got to tutor me for my physics class. Wake up! C’mon, wake up!”

Eventually Dango wakes up moaning in pain, clearly in rough shape. 

Chelsea: “You know what you need, you need to drink some more. Here, drink. Have some of the hair of the dog that bit you.”

Chelsea picks up one of the abandoned cups of beer, gives it to him, and basically forces it down his throat. She then picks up another half-cup and…has him drink that. He dry-heaves, but she gives him another half-cup and has him drink that. Credit where it’s due, Dango has his still-drunk-from-last-night acting down cold: he’s wobbling, drooling, and spilling beer down the front of his Georgia Tech shirt. It’s also possible that he’s just drunk. 

And look. I’ve been to college. I’ve had a rager or three. Sometimes, you wake up, and you need to beat off your hangover with a mimosa or a bloody mary. But I challenge anyone to drink to the point of passing out on the stairs, and then after waking up, chug three warm, flat beers that have been sitting out all night, and NOT throw up. 

Dango drunkenly confesses his love for Chelsea and chugs his fourth beer.

Dango: “I love good taste beer. I love America. U…S…A!”

That’s offensive. 

He then starts licking on Chelsea’s underwear, right out there on the frat house staircase. She pulls them aside, he chows down on her lady parts, and they decide to have more beer involvement in this, so Chelsea grabs a beer and…pours it over her vagina while Dango slurps it off her. 

It’s deeply unpleasant. 

V.O.: “Nothing like a little beer and Pi Pi pussy to get a guy going in the morning. Sorority girls like drunken guys. You can get them to do whatever you want. They think you’re useful, but it’s really the other way around. Believe me, the girls need the dicking just as much as the guys do.”

Fair point, drunken frat guys are easily manipulated. You can’t really argue that. 

That’s about it. She pours beer over his dick and drinks it, because turnabout is fair play. They fuck in a variety of positions, she drinks more beer, and things end…well, he ejaculates sideways across her face, leaving an almost perfect ½ mustache of cum across her upper lip. Then she chugs some more beer. 

Concerned parents: I assure you, this is a highly accurate depiction of college life.

Kissing: No

Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:

• Fellatio: 3:11
• Cunnilingus: 1:36