We open on Kris Knight breaking a game of pool. We intercut some minor banter with his buddy Jenner as Kat walks up and knocks on the door. She’s wearing a backpack with a few rolls of wrapping paper inside. Kris goes and answers the door.
Kat: “Hi, I’m selling some wrapping paper. Would you like to check’em out?”
Just your classic door-to-door wrapping paper salesgirl dressed in a slutty schoolgirl outfit. Classic.
Kris: “Wow. I don’t really need any wrapping paper.”
Kat: “Really? You can check them out in there. They’re really pretty.”
Kris: “Ok. C’mon.”
Kat comes inside and says hello Jenner and exposits that she’s selling wrapping paper, as one does, and Jenner seems to think that’s cool, so they all go into the living room.
Jenner: “I’ll tell you what, dude, I know you really like wrapping paper, so I’m going to go smoke. You guys enjoy your wrapping paper.”
Porn is not known for its solid lines but that is a slice of fried gold.
Kris and Kat chat about the types of wrapping paper. Kris is interested in a solid color like red or blue, and the only solid color Kat has is purple. He’s a man who knows what he wants in the wrapping paper game. Kat hands him the purple one and then bends way, way over to check inside her backpack for any other colors of wrapping paper that would be completely impossible to fit inside a backpack. Kris takes this opportunity to use the roll of wrapping paper to lift her skirt up, because what’s porn without some mild sexual assault?
At any rate, while she looks, Kris pulls out his penis and inserts it into the tube of wrapping paper, which is a twist on the classic dick-through-pizza scenario that I did NOT see coming. He has Kat look down the tube.
Kat says he’s “such a pervert” which immediately ruins the immersion of the scene, it would be way too dark for her to see anything in the tube. As we will soon learn, he doesn’t have a glow-in-the-dark penis.
Kris points out that she dressed, like, you know, the way she’s dressed, and Kat explains that she’s dressed this way so people will approach her. You know. The notoriously thirsty market of middle-aged moms home during the day who will approach someone knocking on their door to sell fucking wrapping paper.
Kat: “I’ll do anything to sell that wrapping paper.”
And they fuck. It’s very boring. After a few minutes Jenner wanders back in sipping his beer and says he thought Kris was just buying wrapping paper, but he taps himself in by taking off his jeans and wedging his cock into Kat’s mouth.
Anyway, Kris and Jenner – or Kris Jenner, for short – spend some time exploring all of Kat’s orifices in uncreative ways without using the wrapping paper. I’m not saying to sodomize her with wrapping paper, think of the paper cuts. But, I mean, have one dude spank her or something. Wrap her in wrapping paper and say “you’re my present this year” like the incest Folgers commercial. CREATIVITY.
Eventually they unload their lack of originality into Kat’s mouth and manage to almost kinda save the scene by saying they need to test how durable the wrapping paper is, so they tear off a piece and Kat spits splooge onto it and the wrapping paper holds! Kris Jenner tips the jizz back into Kat’s mouth and they agree to make a wrapping paper purchase.