Fucking your babysitter is one of those stone-cold classic porn scenarios. It has everything: bringing strangers together to fuck, the naughtiness factor due to the age gap, the fact that the father is obviously cheating on his wife…it has it all. On top of that, no one has fantasies about fucking the pizza guy or the plumber. You fantasize about being the pizza guy nailing the hot lonely MILF, but the profession itself is in no way sexualized.
It’s a sad truth about society, but everyone – male, female, black, white, LGTBQIA+ – has, at some point in their life, fantasized about fucking their hot babysitter. For some people, it starts when you’re the person being babysat, and your wide-eyed naiveté is dwarfed by her 18 years of wisdom and experience; for others, it’s the moment she walks in the front door and smiles at you, and you realize that you don’t actually want to go to dinner with your piece of shit husband, instead, you want to take her hand, lead her down the hall into the playroom, and turn –
I’m rambling. The point is, you put ‘babysitter’ into IAFD and 825 entries are spit out. It’s popular for a reason.
Today’s entry is The Babysitter 10, which was probably the high point of the 33-volume “The Babysitter” series. It comes from Jim Powers, the same legend who brought us Big Sausage Pizza.
We open on Keegan Skyy (three-peat offender) walking down the street in sunny California and up to a house. She rings the doorbell, and Tony Martino answers. Keegan introduces herself as ‘the babysitter’ and Tony invites her in.
We switch over to a shakycam POV shot of some toys being waved in front of the camera to signal that we are now in the POV of the children Keegan will supposedly be babysitting. This is a hard and fast rule: it doesn’t matter if they’re there as window dressing and will not be in the scene, you do not have actual children in a fuck movie.
Keegan and Tony’s voices are deep and garbled. You know how in Charlie Brown all the adults are basically saying Wa wa wa wa wa wa through a thick audio filter? That’s the effect.
One of the kids is hiding in the closet so Tony tells Paul he needs to come out of the closet. Wait, are they trying to tell us his kid is gay, and if so, why? This entire setup is taking way too long. Tony tells Keegan that all the important numbers are by the phone and leaves, but not before sternly warning her that no boys are allowed. Apparently he had a problem with the last babysitter he hired. That’ll happen. Especially in porn, come to think of it.
We cut forward. Keegan is on the phone with her boyfriend, Johnny, and helpfully exposits that she just put those pesky kids down for their nap. It’s one of those enormous pre-cell phone cordless phones, so you know this was shot in 2002.
Keegan: “But I really want to talk to you about what has happened. I don’t want to fight with you. I really think we need to sit down and talk and try to work this out. [brief pause] You’ve been seeing Sylvia?! Johnny, Sylvia is my best friend!”
Not any more, I bet!
Keegan: “How could you do this to me? I don’t want to break up with you, Johnny. pause Please don’t break up with me, Johnny; I thought you loved me. Johnny! Johnny? He hung up on me.”
I think you could just say “Hello” a couple times and we’d get it from context, Keegan. But she looks forlorn and bites her finger wistfully.
Keegan: “What am I going to do now?”
Just a guess, but: revenge-fuck a man 14 years your senior at the time of filming?
We cut forward. Keegan’s napping, Tony comes in and wakes her, and asks how things went.
Keegan: “My boyfriend broke up with me today.”
Tony: “Really?”
Keegan: “He’s been seeing another girl, my best friend!”
Tony: “Men! Well, my wife ran off with another guy, so don’t feel bad. Best thing to do, though: be with another guy, to get your mind off of him.”
Without waiting for a response, he reaches out and feels up Keegan’s boobs. Goddamnit, porn! ASK FIRST. And get an affirmative response!
Keegan: “Mr. Martino!”
Tony: “Well, I’m an older man, I could teach you things…the best type of relationship for a babysitter if she works for more than just…babysitting.”
He starts feeling her up some more.
Ah yes, the blackmail. Stay classy, porn.
Keegan decides she’s down with moving-on-from-a-breakup sex so they fuck in a variety of positions and it’s fine but not super interesting, except for one thing.
There’s something that occurs infrequently in porn. It’s doesn’t have its own tag, you can’t search for it specifically, but it’s when – mid-coitus – one of the scene partners places a phone call to someone (usually their s/o or recent ex) to talk shit about how they’re fucking someone else. I’m going to call it ‘taunting’ for lack of a better term, since it’s the type of thing that would earn you a 15-yard flag in the No Fun League.
This one comes about 14.5 minutes into this 22-minute scene:
Keegan: “Johnny? Guess what I’m doing right now? I’m getting fucked…by an older man! You know how you wanted to fuck me in my ass? Well I’m gonna let an older man do it!”
Keegan passes the phone down to Tony, who clearly knows a good thing when he sees it:
Tony: “Johnny? Your girlfriend’s got a nice, sweet young pussy. You know what she’s doing right now? She’s riding my cock, all the way deep in her pussy. It feels good. Want to listen?”
First of all, ex-girlfriend. They just broke up. That’s actually the main plot point of this porno. Attention to detail, please. That being said, holding a phone up to your genitalia so they can audibly hear you smashing? That’s a power move, right there.
Tony holds the phone up so that Johnny can hear Keegan moan and talks a little more shit. There’s a brief moment where he wonders if he should hit a button to ‘hang up’ (the phone is very obviously off) but instead he just tosses it to the side of the bed where Johnny can presumably hang on the line as long as he wants to listen to a 37-year-old man butt-fuck his ex-girlfriend.
Tony fucks Keegan in the ass and it’s a minor detail, but he keeps muttering “Ride my cock” except they’re both lying on their sides on the bed:
You cannot ride a cock unless you are on top. Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl are the only ways you can ride a cock. Maybe some other more esoteric positions, but that’s about it. Also: Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Things end the way they normally do, and that’s it for now.
Kissing: No
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 2:31
- Cunnilingus: 1:27