Gotta be honest, reviewing transgender pornography is a bit of a goddamn minefield. While I haven’t seen a lot of it, I have a solid working knowledge of the general tropes in much the same way I do cuckoldry. And…yikes.

Pornography, of course, is built around fetishes, as we’ve documented. The fetish of banging a family member. A psychiatrist. The pizza guy. Anal. Clowns. Religious people. An innocent 18-year-old virgin. A naive MILF in her 40s. If you want to make an argument that porn is about objectifying people or professions in some pretty distasteful ways, it’s not all that hard. Then again, someone’s choice of job – or whether they want to take a cock up the ass – is a personal choice, and so those feel much easier to fetishize. Even someone’s age – well, everyone will be a dumb 18-year-old, and most people will be a dumb 40-year-old, so that seems fine.

Appearance – well, there all all types, so if you like skinny redheads with small tits or if you like bald BBWs with huge tits, there’s something for everyone, and we kinda agree that’s a matter of personal taste.

It starts getting more toeing-the-line when you start fetishizing who or what a person is, and there’s a bit more dehumanization that accompanies it, but as long as you’re not super creepy about it people don’t have a huge problem with it. If you want to bang Asian women or black men…okay, but…don’t be a dick, and also, you need to understand that there’s plenty of people who don’t want to be fetishized in that way, and are perfectly normal for rejecting you because they find it creepy and weird.

When it comes to porn though, porn tends to blow past the guardrails of polite society and lean into that shit, because, well, that’s where the money is. And in transgender porn, the plot is usually the fact that the person is transgender, and it doesn’t generally go beyond that. It’s not super interesting, it’s not particularly funny, and it is quite frequently very offensive, and that’s not even counting the slurs.

In fairness, there has been quite of a bit of progress within the industry over the past few years. Porn sites have started categorizing under “transgender” instead of wildly offensive shit like “sh*male” or “ch*cks with d*cks”, although huge swathes of porn is still labeled, titled, and tagged in that way, and I’m sure it will be for years to come.

I normally wouldn’t put stuff like that in this post, except that…the porn industry needs to own their shit, and do better.

Now let’s get off the goddamn soapbox, and talk about some porn.

We open with June Thomas chilling out on the couch reading a magazine. I’m not going to say the title of this flick because holy fuck it’s offensive.

Cindy Valentine enters, and she’s pissed: “My boyfriend just broke up with me because he said I don’t give good enough head, but I think I do, so now I’m gonna have to practice.”

Okay. Let’s be real: breaking up with someone because their head game is terrible is all well and good, because realistically, you can break up with anyone for any reason under the sun. If it’s a petty and terrible reason, it’s still worth doing, because they’re better off without you.

But it seems pretty unlikely that anyone would ever break up with someone because their head game is terrible if that person was then willing to immediately purchase a dildo to start practicing. Sure, if they don’t give a fuck about it, dump them and move on.

[Also. Not really the point of this, but fuck it. People who suck dicks. Let’s take a moment. Circle up. Take a knee. If you want to improve your fellatio skills, there are a host of educational materials out there. There are books. There are videos. There are podcasts. There are (probably) seminars. And most importantly, if you approach your lover and say “Hey, Steve, I want to get better at sucking dick, can I practice on you and you just tell me what you like vs. what you don’t like?” this has a 100% success rate.]

[People who eat pussy: the same applies to you. No excuses.]

Anyway, Cindy extracts a dildo from her plastic bag and seems generally upset with the whole situation. June is unphased:

June: “Why don’t you try the real thing?”
Cindy: “Well….cause my boyfriend, he was the only one I really did stuff with.”
June: “Why don’t you try mine?”
Cindy: “What?!”
June: “What if I told you I have a penis?”
Cindy: [After a look] “I don’t know. Do you?”
June: “Well. Only one way to show you.”

GODDAMNIT. While June is technically – and grammatically – correct, you should NEVER progress to whipping out your genitalia. I feel like I’ve said this a few times: consent is important. Don’t text people crotch shots without their okay, don’t whip it out in real life without their okay.

June whips out the dick, and Cindy responds the way that most people in porn do…at least, if they’re not in aggressively anti-trans trans porn, which would have a deeply unpleasant diversion at this point, but instead, Cindy just says “Well that’s cool,” gets on her knees and crams it into her mouth. Without asking permission, I might add, which again: just ask. If you ask someone who has a dick if you can suck it, I assure you, you will be successful beyond your wildest dreams. Luckily, June is into it.

Cindy: “This is really cool. Now I can practice every night now.”

The fellatio continues until:

Cindy: “So what do you think? Is it all right?”
June: “Oh yeah. Your boyfriend is a fool.”

Got it. So Cindy’s boyfriend dumped her because he thought she gave terrible head but actually she gives great head. Genius scriptwriting here. And really, this is not hard to fix. Have Cindy start, then have June say something like “Jesus Christ! Less teeth!” and then “Put your tongue over your lower teeth and curve your upper lip over your upper teeth” and “More enthusiasm” and “Moisture is your friend” and “Here’s a piece of a grapefruit” and bam, Cindy’s cured.

Anyway. That’s about it. Cindy sucks dick and things end the way they normally do. Cindy looks disgusted to have cum on her face for a few seconds until Rodney Moore cues her from offscreen and she asks when she can practice again. June says it’ll have to be at least an hour, then asks if Cindy will be getting another boyfriend. With cum glistening off her chin, Cindy ops for:

“Maybe not anytime soon.”

Not separate thoughts. Not, “Maybe. Not anytime soon.” It’s all run together in a single sentence, just to make it meaningless.

Kissing: No