Part One is here.

Part Seven – Sister Hardy Fools Around With An Elder

After five consecutive lesbian scenes, it turns out Sister Hardy isn’t even a lesbian! She’s bisexual! I guess from a Mormon perspective, that kinda makes sense. You’re out, exploring the world, connected at the hip with your companion, you experiment, you fuck each others brains out, then you meet a nice Elder, settle down, pop out five or six kids, and compete with the rest of the polygamous sister-wives for your share of your husband’s attention. Why not?

Anyway, Elder Kensington – who got his start getting fucked in the ass doing gay-for-pay by the fine folks over on MormonBoyz.com – comes in because he “forgot his scriptures”. Kensington asks her where her companion is and Hardy explains “she’s in the bathroom”. I do know that one of the strictest rules for Mormon missionaries is NEVER getting separated from your companion. You would hope that one of the scenes would really lean into this – like a couple elders having a devil’s threeway because they can’t be separated – but no such luck.

Kensington asks if he can kiss her. Consent! It’s important. Hardy says he should lock the door. He does, comes back, and they have a deeply awkward kiss. They keep kissing, it gets better, he asks if he can touch her breasts, Hardy agrees, but only “on top of the shirt”. She rubs his dick for a bit (after getting permission), they make out, it’s delightfully awkward, and finally she says they should stop. Elder Kensington backs up immediately, but Hardy then asks if he wants to see her breasts. She takes off her first sweater, then her second sweater…

…and she’s not wearing a bra, which really ruins the continuity established in her previous scene with Sister Pratt. Also, she’s very obviously looking off-screen at the director. At last, she gets the twins out.

Sister Hardy: “What do you think?”
Elder Kensington: “I love them.”
Sister Hardy: “Do you want to touch them?”
Elder Kensington: “Yes. Can I touch them?”
Sister Hardy: “Yeah.”

They strip further until they’re down to their magical Mormon underwear. Sister Hardy suggests they touch each other but “only through the garments”. I have to give props for both wardrobe and research. They definitely bought these from some Mormon warehouse and they know their terminology.

Sister Hardy: “I heard it’s not sex unless you put it in me.”
Elder Kensington: “Yeah. What did you have in mind?”
Sister Hardy: “Maybe we could just…fool around?”

To their credit, they do just that: she gives him a handy while they make out, and eventually he gets on his knees and eats her out against the wall and that’s the rest of the scene. No, they don’t fuck, and no, she doesn’t blow him.

This one ends with someone knocking firmly on the locked door, they freak out and dive for their clothes, fade to black.

Part Eight – Sister Hardy and Elder Kensington Secret Rendezvous

Elder Kensington is hanging out in the laundry room. Sister Hardy enters and, no doubt filled with lust over their previous scene together, kisses him passionately. This progresses wordlessly to them stripping off their multiple layers of regular clothing and magical Mormon underwear.

She gives him a solidly enthusiastic blowjob/handjob with far too much hand action, but then again, she is technically a Mormon. Eventually, he gives her a pearl necklace, and like a true gentleman, wipes the cum off her with one of his magical Mormon garments. Sister Hardy quickly re-dresses, kisses him goodbye, and gets the fuck out of there, leaving an emotionally and semenally drained Elder Kensington behind with half his undergarments covered in jizz:

I assume there’s a deleted scene where another Elder comes in and is like “Dude what the fuck?” and Elder Kensington has to explain how all his clothes are in the wash or something, but no such luck here.

Part Nine: Sister Hardy Masturbates Right Under Their Noses

We open on Sister Hardy hiding beneath an elegant conference room table. We don’t know why she’s down there, stop asking questions. A number of gentlemen enter and take their seats. Sister Hardy immediately unbuttons her blouse, revealing her magic Mormon underwear, and starts masturbating.

It’s worth noting there’s no dialogue. I would have loved to hear a group of porn stars try to improvise a Mormon Elders boardroom meeting, but aside from people shifting in their seats and the occasional flipping of pages – and Sister Hardy’s very audible moaning – there’s silence.

After a bit, Sister Hardy starts licking someone’s shoe while she faps, which is a little weird, but definitely not the weirdest thing I’ve seen in porn.

This is kinda annoying, because in the previous scene they went out of their way to establish consent being important, and now they’re tossing away that good will by having her lick a stranger’s shoe without consent. What the fuck, MormonGirlz?

Now, obviously MormonGirlz just made some of their porn stars dress in suits and sit in chairs and scroll through Facebook for thirty minutes while they shot this scene, but there is a small part of me that wishes that they just brought in some random extras from a Craigslist ad and told them “sit around this conference table, we’re shooting a porno where a girl is going to rub one out on the floor, and also one of you needs to volunteer to have your shoes licked”.

Sister Hardy finishes up, pops her magical Mormon underwear back on, and all the gentlemen exit the scene, with their completely silent meeting evidently over. I have to say: this one is a bunch of bullshit. It doesn’t make a lick of fucking sense and is a crass and poorly executed attempt at inserting pornography into the Mormon missionary field.

Part Ten: Sister Hardy and Elder Kensington Heat Up

Sister Hardy comes in and sits down next to Elder Kensington in the…Bible study room, I guess? We can see there’s an unidentified third party in the room as well:

Sister Hardy immediately hikes her skirt up a bit and starts flicking her bean. Elder Kensington notices almost at once, and this quickly progresses to mutual masturbation while they both try to, you know, act casual above the table.

That’s kinda it. They both pretend to read Scripture while they give each other noticeably obvious handies under the table while the other Elder in the room chills out. I kept hoping they would cut over to him and it turns out he’s noticed them and is now secretly jerking off to them jerking each other off while pretending not to notice, but no such luck. Also, at some point Elder Kensington gives up on jerking her off and just rests his hand on her thigh, so Sister Hardy has to flick her own bean with her right hand while jerking Elder Kensington off with her left. This is why the wage gap exists.

At some point Sister Hardy very, very noticeably spits into her left hand, and at that point the incredibly obvious handjob is accompanied by a loud SCHLICK SCHLICK SCHLICK sound, but apparently the other Elder is pulling a Helen Keller. Seriously. Just show him jerking it as well. It’s Mormons, they all have weird fuck things going on.

Eventually, Elder Kensington shoots his emotional pain all over both their hands, and in the grossest moment of this series, they both wipe the cum off their hands onto the underside of the table:

In fairness, I’m sure the underside of most tables – particularly at the Mormon Training Academy – is crusted with dried semen, but I still didn’t need to have that image burned into my mind.

They get their clothes situated as casually as possible, and then, in a rather sweet moment if I didn’t know that both hands were still sticky with fresh baby batter, they take each others hands. Who said romance was dead?

Part Eleven: Washing And Anointing Pussy And Eating Pussy In Temple

We open on Sister Hardy chilling out in an all-white room. Elder Kensington enters.

Sister Hardy: “What are you doing here?”
Elder Kensington: “I want to wash and anoint you.”
Sister Hardy: “That’s not how it works.”
Elder Kensington: “But…I love you. We’re going to get married.”
Sister Hardy: “Do you even know how to?”
Elder Kensington: “I think so? Yeah.”
Sister Hardy: “Alright.”

Elder Kensington starts the anointing ceremony which kinda-sorta resembles an actual Mormon anointing ceremony, from my Googling. Sister Hardy is basically dressed in a slutty hospital gown, which is more or less what they make actual Mormons wear. Elder Kensington begins anointing different parts of her body, leading up to her snatch, and again, it kinda follows an actual LDS ceremony, except Kensington leaves out all the explanations for why he’s anointing Sister Hardy’s various body parts. Immediately after he anoints her inner thigh, Sister Hardy says he doesn’t know what he’s doing and they begin making out. Fair enough: from my research, Elder Kensington is not qualified to anoint someone within the Mormon faith.

They start stripping, and it takes a long time because they show us all of it and they’re wearing so much clothing. She pulls his dick through the dickhole of his magical Mormon underwear, and starts a handy.

Elder Kensington: “Can I put it in you?”
Sister Hardy: “Not yet.”

There’s more dry-humping and masturbation. At some point, Sister Hardy has an mediocre climax, and:

Elder Kensington: “Tell me your secret name.”
Sister Hardy: “Seriah. Tell me yours.”
Elder Kensington: “Husbands don’t tell their wives.”

Seriah is a character in the Book of Mormon, and within the LDS faith, husbands get to know their wives’ secret names (all of their wives), but the wives don’t get to know their husband’s secret name, because the patriarchy is a bunch of fucking bullshit. MormonGirlz is crushing it with the accuracy.

Part Twelve – Sister Hardy and Elder Kensington Go All The Way

FUCKING FINALLY.

They roll into a room and sit down on a pure white couch.

Elder Kensington: “Sister Hardy. I’ve been thinking a lot, and I love you so much, and we’re both about to leave for the mission field. We’re not going to see each other for a very long time. And I think…we should both pray for confirmation from the Spirit…to get married.”
Sister Hardy: “Yeah, I like that.”

They both bow their heads and have an extremely silent prayer.

Elder Kensington: “I feel really good about this.”
Sister Hardy: “Yeah, me too, it’s something that God would want us to do.”

[Fun fact: my own deeply religious parents had a shotgun wedding because my dad knocked up my mom and being devout Catholics, weren’t about that abortion stuff. They never admitted this to me or my siblings, but as it turns out, my parents’ wedding anniversary is only five months before my birthday, and it doesn’t take a fucking rocket scientist to figure that one out. I eventually learned the reason they were fucking in the first place (despite being staunchly opposed to premarital sex) is because they convinced themselves that it was something ‘God wanted them to do’. Turns out, God is really into whatever it is you want to already do. Anyway. Back to the Mormon porn.]

After a lengthy disrobing scene, Sister Hardy fellates him, he chows down on her lady parts, and finally, at long last, after 11 scenes of dancing around it, he inserts his penis into her vagina and they summit Fuck Mountain:

It’s…fine. I’ve reviewed a lot of porn: it’s perfectly adequate in terms of sexual congress. There are so many shots where the camera is perfectly centered on his hairy ass I suspect they might have had one of the camera guys from MormonBoyz.com filling in for the day. Eventually things end when he bricks all over her stomach and once again, starts mopping up his jizz with a pair of magical Mormon underwear.

Anyway. That’s it. That’s the 12-part saga of how Sister Hardy explored her sexuality, had a whole lot of intense lesbian sex, switched teams, and (I assume) ended up with Elder Kensington, Sister Pratt, and Dr. Lisa in a emotionally and sexually satisfied polygamous relationship.

Kissing: Yes

Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:

• Fellatio: 10:37
• Cunnilingus: 8:35

Closer than most. Hats off to the Mormons, they’re into giving and receiving.