We open on Bea Cummins sitting at her desk jotting some notes down on her legal pad. After a moment there’s a knock on the door and Levi Cash (repeat offender) comes in. Dr. Cummins suggests he lies down on the couch, but Levi says he’s not quite comfortable with that and asks if he can just sit on the chair. The doctor agrees, then scootches her chair forward so she’s very much inside his personal bubble.
Levi: “Kinda how does this work?”
Dr. Cummins: “Well, you just relax, tell me about yourself, and tell me what’s going on?”
I should probably note that this scene comes to us from “60 Plus MILFs 6”, which, couple things about that. I get that there’s no real dividing line between a teen and a MILF, age-wise, there are 22 year old MILFs and 27 year old teens, it really just matters how mature your face is and how skinny you are. I would argue, however, that there is no such thing as a 60 Plus MILF. I’ll accept that there may not be a fine line, age-wise, and am willing to hear arguments either way. But I’ll put my foot down and say in no way, shape, or form are you still a MILF after 59. You may still be very attractive. You may have a youthful appearance. But once you hit 60, you’re a GILF.
Bea Cummins, as it happens, was 71 when she made this porno back in 2015. And while 71 is technically kinda-sorta 60+, I feel like that’s false advertising.
Also, Bea Cummings got into porn in 2009, when she was SIXTY-SIX. How fucking great is that? That’s a story, right there. What sort of life do you lead where you hit 66 and decide “Fuck it, I’m doing porn”? What a legend. Bea, if you’re out here, hit me up, I’d love to interview you. Back to the plot.
Levi: “I’m a little nervous…embarrassed.”
Dr. Cummins: “No need to be embarrassed. I’ve been doing this a very long time, and I’ve heard just about everything there is to be said.”
Levi: “And you’re good at what you do?”
Dr. Cummins: “I’m very good at what I do.”
Levi: “You come highly recommended.”
Dr. Cummins: “Very hands-on.”
File that one under “obvious foreshadowing.”
Dr. Cummins: “What kind of issues are you having?”
Levi: “My wife and I have been together – my current wife, that is – have been together for a while now, and everything was great! Out of the blue, no matter what we tried…just not working down there. I don’t know what’s going on, I think it’s all in my head.”
Dr. Cummins: “You can’t get an erection, is that right? Or she’s not interested?”
Levi: “No, she’s interested, and so am I, it’s just not working down there you know?”
I would love it if she just wrote him a prescription for Viagra and kicked him out of her office, but no such luck. Instead, she asks if he had problems with his ex-wife, and Levi confirms there were no problems. The doctor asks the obvious follow-up: was there anything Levi did differently with his ex-wife?
Levi: “Do you have any example of what could be different?”
Dr. Cummins: “Could it be anal?”
Jesus. Going straight into the deep end, doc.
Levi: “My ex-wife loved to do anal!”
Dr. Cummins: “Did you enjoy it?”
Levi: “Yeah, I definitely enjoyed it, I miss that, and now that I think about it, my new wife, she hates taking it in the ass.”
Dr. Cummins: “So there you go.”
Levi: “So you think the problem is that my new wife doesn’t like to take it up the ass? Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend you?”
Dr. Cummins: “No no, not at all. I’ve heard it all. As a matter of fact, I enjoy anal.”
WHAT HAPPENED TO PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES?
Dr. Cummins: “So, having said that, would you feel comfortable getting on the couch?”
Levi: “Do you think it would help?”
Dr. Cummins: “I think it would.”
Levi switches over to the couch and Dr. Cummins starts massaging him VERY inappropriately, then starts taking off his pants.
Levi: “Are you undoing my belt?”
Dr. Cummins: “Yes, I am. Is that all right?”
Levi: “Yeah.”
Consent! It’s important.
Levi asks about doctor-patient confidentiality and if this means the doctor can’t tell his wife. Dr. Cummins assures him it’s “strictly professional”. And they start fucking.
Weirdly, after all that setup, they proceed with a blowjob and normal vaginal sex and he has no problems achieving an erection. Although maybe just the knowledge that anal was coming gave him the confidence he needed. He also repeatedly goes ass to pussy which, kids, that’s bad news right there, that’s one hell of a yeast infection. Don’t do that shit.
He also makes her be on top for the majority of the fucking which seems pretty inconsiderate given that she’s SEVENTY-ONE FUCKING YEARS OLD.
Anyway, things end the way they normally do. Levi said it was the best session he’s ever had, which is odd, since we starting out with him saying he was new to this. Dr. Cummins invites him back for another round, which is odd, considering he couldn’t be arsed to go down on her and the aforementioned yeast infection.
Kissing: Yes
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 3:18
- Cunnilingus: 0:00