Adventures In Babysitting: Parkinson’s

We open on shots of Danielle Dynamite staring directly into the camera while slurping milk from a baby bottle, and we get a title card, which normally I appreciate: 

Not super promising. 

Backey Jakic (which is not a great porn name) leads Danielle over to a crib, and we get the POV shot we’ve seen before in babysitter porn directed by Jim Powers. Backey explains that she needs to give the unseen baby a bottle every four hours, burp him if he cries, all that standard shit. He then explains that he has someone else he needs her to take care of. We then cut into a bedroom where Johnny Thrust (repeat offender) is lying on the bed…pretending to have Parkinson’s. Oh no. No no no no no no. Not good. 

He twitches his arms around a bit, clearly having seen a video of someone with Parkinson’s just before filming, while somber music plays in the background. He coughs a bit, and Backey runs in and adjusts his head slightly, which apparently fixes his coughing problem. Danielle follows him in and stands next to the bed, doing her very best not to break character and start laughing, and settling for a cheerful grin:

Backey: “His mind is perfectly clear, he just has problems – he has Parkinson’s disease – and he is somebody you really have to take care of him, huh? And he is nice guy, look at him.”

Johnny and Danielle wave at each other. Backey picks up a bottle of formula.  

Backey: “This is the special formula, but please, don’t mix it, don’t give it to my little boy. This is mark here, this is for him. Special formula.”

Johnny flails for the bottle, acquires it, and starts chugging whatever (presumably milk) is inside. Uh….right. You know, I’m aware that people with Parkinson’s do have challenges with eating due to hand tremors, but I’m also fairly confident that the answer is not to feed them with baby bottles. 

Backey tells her he’s off to check on his son, so Danielle sits down and bottle-feeds Johnny, until he starts messing with his shorts, making gargling sounds, and gesturing at his general groin area:

Danielle seems very confused that Johnny is pitching a tent in his pants. Eventually she pulls his shorts down a bit, revealing a very erect penis. 

Danielle: “Oh my god, [Johnny] that’s huge, what do you want me to do with it?”

Johnny makes a bunch of guttural growls and sounds while flailing his arms around. It’s highly offensive. Eventually Danielle decides he wants her to engage in fellatio, so she does. This quiets Johnny down, but after a few minutes Backey comes back in, and he’s not pleased. 

Backey: “What the hell are you doing? I told you, he wants something, you give him bottle to suck, you don’t suck his dick!”

He’s making some compelling points. But immediately, Backey opens his fly and pulls out his own erection.

Backey: “So suck this dick too.”

He grabs Danielle by the back of her neck and crams his dick in her mouth. Johnny makes a bunch more incoherent sounds and flails his arms around to indicate his annoyance that Danielle is not blowing him, so Backey pushes her back to him and starts yelling in Bosnian, which is where he’s from. And then they fuck.

It’s pretty offensive, all things considered. I’m really not sure why Danielle starts drinking Johnny’s formula. If such a thing exists for disabled adults, it’s probably expensive and a bad move for the help to steal it. Backey starts fucking Danielle and arguing with Johnny, which leads to both Danielle and Johnny breaking character and laughing so hard Danielle can’t suck Johnny’s dick any longer. 

They all fuck in a variety of positions and the majority of the orifices, and shockingly, when it comes to the fucking Johnny magically seems to lose his physical impairments. They also DP (double penetrate) her, which, given that Backey and Johnny are apparently brothers, seems awfully incest-adjacent. I know it’s not quite the same thing, but I also feel like if your dicks and/or balls touch while engaged in lovemaking, there’s something happening between the two of you, and nobody clarified they were actually stepbrothers.

It’s worth noting that Backey ejaculates three (3!) times during the scene, which is very impressive, but it’s on Danielle who spends most of the scene on top of Johnny, making it quite likely that Johnny is being hit by friendly fire, and I think ejaculating on your brother, even if by accident, is very incest-adjacent. 

Eventually, things come to an end and Backey tells her “you got the job, man” and has her give Johnny’s member a goodbye kiss and that’s about it. 

Overall? Not a fan. People with disabilities need to get their fuck on just like the rest of us, but I feel like having an actor do a gross caricature of it – while the other two treat him as if he’s developmentally disabled – is not the right way to go about it. 

Kissing: No

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *