We open with a recap of “previously on” because when you have a 17-minute episode, you really want to use a full minute to catch everyone up on all the thrilling drama they may have missed!

The judges are out by the pool explaining that it’s the final episode of The Sex Factor. Asa explains that the season has been an emotional roller coaster ride. And she’s sad it’s all ending. 

The judges talk about who their favorites are, and it’s all over the map. Luckily, they burn through this without providing really any specifics, instead talking about people’s personalities and who they like without actually any analysis of why they think that person is a good fit for the ’biz. 

Lexi: “I love Johnny’s look, but I think Donnie has the whole package.”

If you know what I mean. 

They also talk about who they want to fuck. Donnie and Khaya are both mentioned. And with that we transition to “a look back at our finalists” which mixes together some footage we’ve seen already, with some stuff we haven’t, like a scene where Tori is explaining the facts of porn to a clearly terrified Johnny:

Tori: “Right now a big trend is double anal or double vag, which involves another guy rubbing dicks inside an asshole, you know what I mean? Is that something that you could foresee yourself doing?” 
Johnny: “That might be too far.”

This churns up another four minutes or so of runtime, and finally we go back to the judges and they’ve chosen the winners! So we cut forward to that evening and they have all the contestants out by the pool.

Asa: “All of us judges believe that every single one of you have a place in this business. Unfortunately, there can only be two Sex Factor winners.”

Great. They’re all winners. 

Tori tells Khaya that they don’t see the connection with her crazy sexuality in her on-camera performances, however fine she may be with it off-camera. Which is weird, given that Khaya’s been getting freaky on camera all season, so let’s just call this another bullshit rationalization. Keiran then tells Hero that he’s great, except he can’t cum on camera. Remi tells Donnie that he had a rough start, but he’s been great recently. Lexi says Blair needs to focus more in her scenes, be aware of the camera and her partner. Tori says Allie is still a little in her shell. Keiran says Johnny was “the contestant to beat” at the start, but then struggled a lot. 

Asa calls Khaya and Hero forward and says that they do not have The Sex Factor. 

Hero has a nice speech and thanks everyone, and then ends with this gem: “Remy, if you and Zack are ever looking for a third, I would be any part of that sandwich. ANY part.”

Everyone has a good laugh and we immediately cut to the judges throwing shade in a confessional:

Tori: “Hero was never my front-runner, how he made it to the end I really don’t know. He doesn’t really know about his sexuality, perhaps that plays a part in the lack of pop shot, you know, where might your pop shot be going? Perhaps not on a female…”

Which is weird, given that even if you only shoot straight porn, your balls will be regularly touching another dude’s, even if you aren’t double-dicking the same asshole, as Tori was touching on earlier. In porn, I think being heteroflexible is probably a good thing. 

So Hero and Khaya leave – well, they take maybe seven steps off to the side, so they’re not in the shot – and Asa asks Blair and Donnie to step forward…and they’re the winners! Hooray! The executive producer of the Sex Factor, Buddy Ruben, steps out with two giant oversized novelty checks:

Fun fact, when Xhamster first posted this episode, this image was the thumbnail of the episode, so everyone was immediately spoiled on the winners before they ever watched the episode. Just another example of their incompetence. 

Everyone applauds and champagne is popped. Blair talks about how happy she is, presumably because getting dicked down is infinitely better that being a Catholic Sunday School teacher. Donnie says he’s ready to get going in porn. We get a few more interviews, but nothing new is learned, until we end on Allie:

Allie: “What the actual fuck. I have no idea what just happened, actually. I am so shocked. I don’t know what just happened! Was that like a practice run? Are we going to do the real thing later? I’m still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out and be like, ‘Alright, let’s go film the real one now.’”

You and me both, Allie. 

Well, that’s about it. 

Khaya Peake was in three films and has left the adult industry. She is not a fan of Blair Williams. She posted on Twitter about Hero Protagonist giving her a black eye:

Hero Protagonist (who has not appeared in any further porn) alleges the events were consensual:

Johnny Black was in three scenes, but has left the industry.

As of the time of writing, Donnie Rock has appeared in 636 films. Blair Williams has appeared in 394. Hats off to them both. 

Overall? What a fucking shitshow. Let’s go to Tori Black to close things out:

Well said.