We open on Vina Skyy getting out of her SUV and extracting a watermelon from the trunk, closing the hatch back with some difficulty. She carries it inside and cuts it up while explaining to her boyfriend that…she bought a watermelon. We cut forward to her taking a plate outside, sensually stripping to her bikini, and slowly and seductively eating a slice of what is very clearly seedless watermelon. She even double-fists two slices at the same time. It’s like Big Watermelon finally was able to afford a Super Bowl commercial and decided to lean into the sex appeal.
We get slow-motion shot after shot of her cramming slices of watermelon into her mouth during long, porny shots over her ass. It is not subtle, and honestly, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable on behalf of the watermelon.
Eventually – after eating enough watermelon to make an entire high school football team sick – Vina moves on to simply fellating the watermelon in super slo-mo shots with juice spraying out artistically and running down her chin.
Gonna be honest, I figured the first “porn star fucks a watermelon” scene I reviewed would involve male talent and a watermelon with a hole in it, but you have to roll with the punches.
Eventually – after eight full minutes of Asian-on-watermelon sexual aggression, we get to the actual plot. Michael Swayze comes out and gives us his best “I’m shocked” face.
However, he is not shocked that his girlfriend is getting to third base with a slice of watermelon. After Vina comes back insides he asks her if she ate the seeds. She confirms that she did because “those are the best part”. A) seedless watermelon, B) no they fucking aren’t.
He explains the seeds will grow inside her, and she’ll explode. Vina is horrified, and asks what she should do.
Michael: “Well, there’s only one way to cure it, it’s an old remedy from back in the old days, you’ve got to swallow a whole bunch of cum.”
Vina is skeptical, but Michael has a perfect rejoinder:
Vina agrees, so he picks her up and carries her into the bedroom. And then they plow.
Gonna be honest. I continue to be surprised at how few porn plots revolve around “my semen will cure what ails you” or “a facial will cure your acne”, in much the same way I guessed, incorrectly, porn would lean into ingesting semen or having sex with someone would cure COVID-19.
Anyway, she blows him for 9:01, and then he picks her up, flips her upside-down, and they do a standing 69, which I think is a first for the site.
I guess. It doesn’t look like he’s putting much effort or enthusiasm into it, unlike Vina, who is sucking dick like her life depended on it. At any rate, it only lasts for 1:11 before he puts her back down so he can chill out while she continues to choke on his dick, which she does for another 0:22. Then she turns around to assume the position while he strips off his clothes, but he still (!!!) doesn’t fuck her, but walks around the side so she can keep blowing him for 0:51, they fuck for a bit, then she blows him again for 1:57, which then transitions into another lengthy 69 session, this time lying down.
Anyway, eventually things end the way they normally do, we rehash some dialogue and Michael reassures her that the semen will kill off the seeds, and that’s about it.
Oral Sex Reciprocity Scale:
- Fellatio: 15:26
- Cunnilingus: 0.00
- 69ing: 5:28