Part One is here.

Part Six – Lesbian Polygamist Threesome At Church

The two newest sister-wives are sitting in front of a very familiar map that Sister Hardy and Elder Kensington fooled around in front of. We pan back, revealing Emma, looking annoyed.

Alma: “So you know Joseph Smith, right? I know, I know, so he practised polygamy, of course, and that’s why we do, he had, uh, 27 wives – ”
Julie: “He had 41!”
Alma: “No, it was 27!”
Julie: “It was not 27, it was 41!”
Alma: “No, it was 27, you’re overestimating it.”

This is why it’s dangerous to have multiple wives, they can’t help themselves and start sniping at each other about how many wives Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, had. That being said, this is a deep cut for the Mormon viewers, as this is a legit controversy. Back in 1887 a list was first published of all of Smith’s wives (his first wife, Emma, plus 27 more). As of 2014 the LDS church admitted that Smith had 40+ wives, and I understand the list currently sits around 49. This would be enough to make Joseph Smith a bit of a legend, but also one of the wives was 14, so fuck Joseph Smith. 

The girls argue about this, Alma says they should look it up and grabs a book, Julie takes the book and throws it on the ground, and they start a little slap fight. Emma jumps up and chews them out, then says she’s going to teach them a lesson…and makes them start stripping their clothes off. Ah yes, sex as punishment. 

Emma makes them bend over the table, examines their asses, and starts giving them a sexy spanking while talking about how they’re not behaving. I…wasn’t aware that the Head Wife gets to spank the other wives, but honestly, it’s making me like Mormonism more. 

Emma fingerbangs Julie and Alma while they make out a bit, eventually they fake an orgasm, and she tells them to get dressed and stalks out of the room. Needless to say, making them sort’ve kind’ve fuck each other didn’t actually resolve the problem:

Julie: “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d just studied more.” 
Alma: “I studied! I’m the teacher, I don’t need to study.”
Julie: “You shouldn’t be teaching if you don’t even know the information. Obviously I should be teaching.”
Alma: “You made me doubt the information I know I know.”
Julie: “You only think you know.”
Alma: “Okay, do you want to teach the Sunday school class?”
Julie: “Yeah, I do!”
Alma: “Okay, then do it! Have fun passing that by Brandon.”

I’m starting to realize why Brandon delegates so much to Emma the Head Wife. Dealing with all this bullshit has got to be exhausting. 

Part Seven – Polygamist Mother Takes Her Son’s Virginity

This one is pretty uninteresting. Alma’s in bed frenetically masturbating, Elder Miller (aka Rod Peterson) walks in. Apparently nobody locks their doors in the polygamy house, which seems like an oversight.

Elder Miller refers to her as “mom” and Alma calls him “son”, despite them being the same age. Turns out Miller is actually supposed to be Emma’s son, so this is not actually blood incest. Also, do the kids in polygamist families call all the sister-wives Mom? That feels confusing as hell. You’d think he’d call her ‘Mother Alma’ or something. 

Miller asks what she’s doing. Alma asks if he knows what masturbation is. He doesn’t. She clarifies it means self-pleasuring and Elder Miller knows what that is, so…they fuck. It’s not terribly interesting. 

Part Eight – Polygamy Pillow Fight

Sarah, Julie, and Alma are all hanging out on the bed clad only in their magical Mormon underwear. They’re happy because it’s GIRLS NIGHT. They talk about knitting and studying and that Sarah went to a bra shop (scandal!). Sarah also bought some naughty purple panties that she’s wearing beneath her magical Mormon underwear. 

They talk about boob size measurements for bras which leads to them feeling up each other’s tits, the way we all know girls do during girl’s nights, then they pop those tops off and abruptly transition to making out and then summiting Fuck Mountain. Eventually they all collapse into a sweaty pile of pale nubile flesh and Sarah suggests they watch a movie. 

Part Nine – An Orgasm For Each Sister Wife

 All the sister-wives are neatly arranged on the couch. Alma thanks them for bringing her to the temple. 

Alma: “Please don’t take it personal, but I don’t know if I can share him with anyone.”

Weird, because Alma already shared Brandon back in Part Four. 

Emma: “Well, sharing is caring. And we’re a family. You’re our wife too. You know what I mean?”

They all encourage her. Julie says that God will ‘put the spirit of sharing’ into Alma. Eventually they decide that they should probably pray on it. Excellent. We need more prayer in porn. 

Alma bows her head in silent prayer. Emma and Sarah watch her, then grab her and start stripping off her clothes and cover her mouth!

Emma: “We’re going to show you why it’s nice to have a few wives around.” 

And then they all fuck. It’s not terribly interesting, except:

Julie: “The Bible doesn’t say anything about women masturbating.”

Fair enough. The Bible is full of loopholes. 

Part Ten – Brandon’s Birthday Sex Party

Brandon and Emma are lying in bed. Emma wishes him a happy birthday and gives him a kiss. They chat for a bit, and Emma mentions how much she enjoys ‘taking care’ of Brandon. Yep, she is definitely the dominant in this relationship. 

Sarah, Julie, and Alma all enter (stark naked) holding a giant HAPPY BIRTHDAY ribbon and wish him a happy birthday.

Brandon: “Looks like my presents are already unwrapped.” 

They all jump on the bed and strip off Brandon’s clothes. Julie and Alma kiss in front of him and Brandon doesn’t object, so clearly he’s fine with a little lesbian action between sister-wives. We achieve a second (!) synaloepha, which I appreciate. As porn goes, it’s pretty solid, but not much else happens, plot-wise. I do appreciate that so far in this series we’ve had a threesome, a foursome, and now a fivesome. You need to keep raising the stakes to keep the audience invested, and they’re doing that well. 

One thing I find annoying is just how quickly everyone pretends they’re orgasming. This has been an ongoing problem throughout the series. For example, in this one, Julie starts riding Brandon and it takes her exactly one minute and twenty-seven seconds before she’s having an explosive orgasm. And sure, I know some women can orgasm at the drop of the hat, but I’ve seen Abbey Rain in other stuff and this is a bunch of bullshit. 

Eventually things end the way they normally do, and they all tell each other that they love each other, which is kinda sweet. 

Part Eleven – Sarah Snow Lets A Missionary Eat Her Out

Sarah politely knocks on a bedroom door. Inside, Elder Sorensen (aka Peter Pounder, who has also done a lot of gay-for-pay for MormonBoyz) is reading the Scriptures. 

Elder Sorensen: “Brother Snow?”
Sarah: “No. He sent me instead. He sends his love.”
Elder Sorensen: “I’m not supposed to be alone with you, though.”
Sarah: “I know. I’m not supposed to be alone with you either. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. Your tie is crooked. Let me fix it for you.”

She does so, he thanks her, they start kissing.

Sarah: “Have you ever been with a woman before?”
Elder Sorensen: “No.”

Plenty of dudes, though, amirite?

Sarah: “You look nervous.”
Elder Sorensen: “I am.”

Pussy can be intimidating. Sarah asks if he’d like to touch her breasts, so he does. Consent! It’s important. Things progress. Now, for some reason, when the scene began, the Elder was wearing a nametag that read Elder Lindsay, but now he’s wearing one that says Elder Sorensen. I guess they realized the mistake midway through filming and were like, fuck it, no second takes? 

The Elder eats her out for a bit, and Sarah mentions that he’s ‘so much better than her husband’. Way to throw Brandon under the bus. Although, to be fair, Brandon hasn’t actually gone down on any of his wives in any of these episodes, so he’s a typical selfish lover. No wonder she’s seeking out these teenage virgin Elders to go to town on her downstairs. 

That’s about it. They don’t fuck or anything. He chows down on her lady parts, she fakes an orgasm, and they share a kiss.

Part Twelve – Julie Snow Makes Her Son Fuck Her

Julie finishes up her shower and towels herself dry. After a minute Elder Miller (who previously fucked Alma) wanders in. He’s embarrassed, but Julie says he doesn’t have to be shy. She pulls him into the shower and they make out. It’s not all that interesting but it’s nice, I guess, that all the sister-wives are getting a chance to fuck other dudes. 

Part Thirteen – Julie Snow Fucks A Missionary

Julie bursts into a room with young Elder Sorensen. It’s probably worth noting that there are also two lost episodes where Sorensen fucks Alma and Emma, respectively, so he’s really just fucking his way through the entire Snow family tree. (For that matter, he also turns out Elder Miller, so he doesn’t discriminate)

There’s no dialogue, however, so they proceed to fuck, and that’s about it. 

Overall, this is a clear step down from the Sister Hardy saga. There’s not much of any narrative thread besides a few hints here and there, such as the episode where Sarah teaches the two new sister-wives about how to give oral. With this type of series, there’s some obvious things you can do. Like, the new sister-wives are virgins, so first they learn how to give oral, then it’s their first time having sex with a man,  then it’s their first time with a woman, then it’s their first time having a polygamist orgy, then it’s their first time cheating on their husband. You get the idea. Instead, that’s (mostly) ignored, and I think the plot suffers from it. 

Oh well.

Kissing: Yes, and lots of it.